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Life is crazy.

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Derp McFlopsky, Sep 12, 2019.

  1. Derp McFlopsky

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    2019 has not disappointed. Between being daddy and my new gig I sleep like 4 hours a day. I barely see my wife, who wants to move closer to her new job. I still want to help my dad when I can but that’s a 14 hour day plus commute any way you can slice it. I don’t really have friends...I have people I used to hang with that I basically just ignore because a guilt trip about not hanging out isn’t what I need. Any second of free time I spend trying to finish two albums worth of music...which was a good idea at the time to start because I had nothing but free time... I’m starting to get something of a permanent headache because of the sleep thing. Ive never been more self-aware of how my anxiety affects or affected me. I spend most of my time on social media trying to not complain into the void and deleting my own stupid comments from the past. I am trying to better myself in a world that flatly does not care. I just put in a request for vacation at Christmas and I honestly just want to live that long lol...that’s where Im at. 3 months from now my only goal is being alive.

    Honestly I don’t know how I’m holding it together. I’m giving it up everyday for something vague and blurry in a distant future. Everybody has to make a sacrifice at some point...I tell you what, I ain’t got a lot left to sacrifice. I’m more of a “earned” person than a “deserves” person...well...I am now but who wasn’t a punk ass when they were 19? I’m 33. I’ve earned it for a while now and I don’t even know what I’m getting hahaha... in 3 months I just want to be alive, on a trip to Florida to see my in laws, to spend one holiday with my wife’s fam bam.

    I’m not even trying to be sappy and needy. I’m not unhappy. I’m a little worn down but nothing a vacation wouldn’t fix. I’m just saying like...catching a break, like a small lottery ticket. Just like 10-15 million I’ll be good.

    Life is crazy.
     
  2. Andre0087

    Andre0087 Member

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    I feel you...I have a 60 hour work week but as long as I have one solid day off that I can spend with friends and family, it makes it all worth it. Stay on your grind my friend.
     
  3. leroy

    leroy Contributing Member
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    I'll tell you this from very recent experience, being a person that ignored what was truly important. Have the projects for yourself...but don't ignore the really important things right in front of you. I've been with my wife for nearly 22 years and married for 18. That nearly ended recently because I was focusing too much on what I wanted to do and satisfying my needs while my wife was screaming (mostly figuratively) for my attention. Decide what you really want, what's truly important, and focus on that.

    Also, get some sleep.
     
  4. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    Life is Crazy
    but
    Life is Good
    as well

    Rocket River
     
    Derp McFlopsky likes this.
  5. Pete the Cheat

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    truer words.

    get. some. sleep.

    no better anxiety trigger than sleep deprivation
     
    da_juice likes this.
  6. cheke64

    cheke64 Member

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    It be like that sometimes
     
  7. khanhdum

    khanhdum Member

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    I feel you man. My wife and I started a new business and I'm working over 80 hours a day. Get up early, sleep late but at least I can get 6-7 hours a night. Just keep chipping away at it and keep your head up. you might not see the end goal now but it'll become clearer once you're near.
     
  8. ThatBoyNick

    ThatBoyNick Member

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  9. bobrek

    bobrek Not a liberal, regardless of my posts
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    Impressive
     
  10. cheke64

    cheke64 Member

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    The hyperbolic chamber let's you do that.
     
    justtxyank, daywalker02 and Yung-T like this.
  11. khanhdum

    khanhdum Member

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    feels like 80 hours a day
     
  12. LonghornFan

    LonghornFan Contributing Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Jontro likes this.
  13. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Mineshaft Enthusiast

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    You've got to take care of everyone around you but you can't forget to take care of yourself.
     
  14. Uprising

    Uprising Contributing Member

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    I fell ya, life is nuts how quickly things can change. I went from a dead end job that I was working at, basically 10-12hrs a day. I was in retail sales....and my income started to gradually shrink the last few years thanks to the company cannibalizing it's self in order to dominate the market. There was ZERO work / life balance.

    I then landed a better gig, in an area of Texas that I wanted to live....after a year here, we purchased our first house. And we are now 3 months into pregnancy with our first child. I can't complain. Life is nuts. (I'm also at my mid 30's). I'm very appreciative of the new found work / life balance I have. Some people are all anti corporate world (I work at a tech company)....

    But, I honestly couldn't be happier.
     
  15. droxford

    droxford Member

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    When you become a father, it's quite common for you to go your own way as your friends go theirs. It's just the way of things.

    As your kid gets older, he/she will have much greater demands of your time, energy, money, and focus. This will continue and escalate for about 20 years. The good news is, you'll find a life rhythm that will work for you.

    [me: married for 23 years; 19-year-old daughter; 12-year-old son]
     
  16. Xerobull

    Xerobull Contributing Member
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    @Derp McFlopsky Growing up is f****** hard, and for most men, it's in their 30's. I've been there.

    Women are ready for adulthood when they are 8. They play with baby dolls, pretend to be married, pretend to cook, to have a job...what do boys do? Beat the crap out of each other, play with blocks or some sort of military or action toys, video games, then the great spankathon of the teenage years. Segue into college/early adulthood, guys are still childish idiots who just want to party and get laid. All speaking from experience.

    Here's my advice:

    1. Take care of yourself FIRST. Your health, your mental health and your own needs. Get that sleep. Have zen time daily- sounds like it's music, so make time for it. Find some way to exercise. Eat better. You're no good to anyone strung out and stressed out.

    2. Take care of your wife and child. She needs time with you, probably doesn't matter what. Women need that closeness. Kids are easy too, just sit there while they climb on you. Here's an idea: walks with the family. Covers the time and the exercise.

    3. You have to cut some stuff out. Sorry, old bros, you'll get over it and eventually understand when you have kids. Tell your homeboys the truth. 'I have a family now, I can't hang out on a regular basis'. True friends will understand. The rest...meh. Like @droxford said, it happens. Same with your pops. He will understand. Or he won't. As an adult you can say f-you to family.

    4. Re-evaluate and prioritize. Why do you need to finish those albums now? Will they be any less poignant and sublime in two years? Hell, your life experience will probably help your music. What's the upside of moving closer to your wife's work? If you're giving her more time with your child, it's probably worth it.

    Remember that your life is a long marathon.
     
  17. LosPollosHermanos

    LosPollosHermanos MoRley only Fan
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    120 hrs last week... so yea. 90 is normal
     
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  18. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Insider Newsletter™ 2X Diamond Member

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    You gotta do what's in front of you. Keep your goals in mind and try hard to keep your wife in the loop even when your patience is rail thin. This is when the little things matter a lot. You might feel drained but some acts of random kindness can turn out energizing. Be open and forgiving to your loved ones and to yourself.

    Avoid social media but reach out to old friends and connections directly. Only use social media for promotions.

    Yeah, most people don't give a ****. When you find people who do, they're the best to lend you some support.
     
    Derp McFlopsky likes this.
  19. EddieWasSnubbed

    EddieWasSnubbed Contributing Member

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    I hear you too, man. 32 here checking in, with a will-be-2-in-december-year-old.

    My wife works weekends, 13 hours a day Saturday and Sunday. I don't see her much on the weekends. I'm busy at work during the week. We don't see family because mine is 2,000 miles away and our schedule doesn't work out with her family.

    Her parents (his only nearby grandparents) don't really seem that into our boy, which is disappointing to us. They've got their own things to handle. Her stepdad visits when he can, but we wish they were more enthusiastic, in general.

    My wife is with our son weekdays, and I'm with him weekends. I enjoy weekends, but miss her. She likes the weekdays for the most part, but gets bored and has her moments of frustration. We have been out once for dinner in about three months. The longest we've ever been away from his was about four hours. We could use a break for sure. I'd love nothing more than dreama good, reliable babysitter. I dream about next year, for our tenth anniversary, surging and going for a week to Bali - just the two of us. I just know we'd miss our boy.


    Life is crazy. Days go by fast.


    I try to keep one thing in mind as a bit of perspective and just remember the old addage - "they only grow up once."

    That being said, right now, the most important thing to me is knowing that my wife and I love each other deeply. We've got each other's backs. We both love our family more than anything in this world.

    I try every day to laugh and love the little things. Don't ignore the frustrating moments. But, by god, hold onto to every little moment you can and cherish it.

    As I type this, he went to the kitchen, put his shoes on, came back out and threw his bouncy ball at the table, and belly laughed hard. Awesome. Love it.
     
  20. Derp McFlopsky

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    Thanks for the replies. I’m defintely on that trip right now, working and raising a son and tending to a marriage. Honestly it made me feel better just to see I’m not alone!

    I got to go home from work early last night, got to spend a couple hours with the wife and slept all night. Even got up and did yoga with her too. It did me a lot of good, I’m very grateful.
     
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