I've been struggling for a while (basically since I've stopped drinking) to approach someone new at, say, a bar or club or house party. Lost the "liquor courage", I guess you can say. What do you do to go talk to someone? How do you approach things? Any tips? People have been giving me flak about it. If things happen by chance, or the women introduces them-self to me, or someone drags me into a tag team, and he make the first ice-breaker: it's alright, more or less. But I have been unable to go individually.
Man, there is no secret formula. Alcohol does help, as you don't care, but you should have the same mentality when sober, meaning you shouldn't care if you get rejected. I usually talk about their outfit, smile or something that just happened. It's easy to break the ice, but to maintain the conversation, don't be afraid to ask for her number. Just say you wish you had more time to talk, so let me get your number and we can continue the conversation...Wait a day or two to to respond, so you don't seem desperate...Good luck!
"I was sitting at my table over there when I saw you standing at the bar. Since I can't stop staring at you anyway, could I buy you a drink?" That worked for me once, years ago. You can drink a Coke with a slice of lime. Looks like a Cuba Libre. Good luck, regardless.
If you are more introverted, you would have a much easier/less stressful time with apps like Tinder/Bumble etc... With those apps you at least know she is interested in talking to you since you already matched with them. It is hard to change a personality type, but easier to change the method of interaction.
I'm rarely able to do it if they're completely alone. Typically, I try to listen to what they're talking about and try to join their conversation. Failing that, I try to talk about their clothes if there's something distinctive enough to get a conversation on. Full disclaimer, I'm mostly around college aged women, so it's a little bit easier.
You might want to start small. Many times you can gauge whether a girl might be receptive by just saying any dumb thing that comes to your mind - just don't be gross. Then you can be encouraged by a smile or a laugh and that'll calm you nerves so you can attempt to ask for her number and get out of dodge. If you keep doing it, you're going to get rejected and that might hurt your pride temporarily but the world will not end. Women in clubs and bars are being constantly hit on by dudes who suck. So, many of them will be weary no matter what you do. But confidence will come with patience, appearance, and non-cornball flattery. Girls (or you know, people in general) like to be listened to as well but I know how it is to not hear anything when all you can hear is the beads of sweat forming and cascading from your screaming pores. That'll go away. Keep at it. Anyway, where da womenz at on this board? I'd take their advice over any of us.
when I turned 21 ,I went to a bar, ordered a coke and minutes later an attractive women approached me saying - " oh wow you're so cute", cought by a surprise I told her thanks ! -she told me how well dressed and how neat I look ,then asked me" are you gay!!", told her oh no noooo why is that's! She told me that was looking to hookup her gay freind with someone...,but that wasn't the answer I was hoping for. Moral of the story : don't go to that bar or speak to strangers ....seriously ,I f you aren't going to drink, go to a public library ,online dating site or through friends
Nothing to lose, something to gain. Go by that motto an your life will change w lots of sexo. Good luck
Honestly, and this goes for life in general, just say hi and start conversation about anything. More than likely people are just as scared to talk as you are. If someone were to talk to you, I doubt you'd be an *******, so I doubt anyone would be with you if you initiate. If they are, **** em, they're assholes. Start talking ( say hi, introduce yourself) then maybe ask their opinion on something so they're engaged in conversation. Be yourself, be confident. You'll be much more attractive being a confident you than being a self conscious fake you. Know yourself know your worth
Don't overthink it. Just have a natural conversation with her, she is a person. Be/appear confident and bring energy and fun to the interaction and she will respond well. Be somebody you would want to talk to at a bar. I haven't ever had an interaction at a bar where a girl was downright rude and mean to me. If they aren't interested then it will be obvious, just move along. A few drinks always help but don't overdo it. The more girls you approach the easier it will become. The best part about approaching strangers is that if it goes poorly you don't have to ever interact with them again. Life is too short to miss out on opportunities. Just say F it and go for it.
women love family, so open up a conversation talking about your mum. always works alternatively, you can talk about how sucky lin is and how special the number 99 is.
Lose all sense of shame and ask them. You may be nervous at first but that likely wouldn't be the reason why a girl would shoot you down anyways. Once you get past the initial nerves of it, you get better at it and the risk of rejection no longer becomes a big deal. Ask a ton of girls out. You'll get better at it with "practice".
I have lost touch since marriage but back in my prime, I just used to go up and start small talk. You kinda get the vibe immediately of whether they're interested or not and if there is any awkwardness just say "pleasure meeting you, I got to go" and bail My obstacle was approaching groups of 3 or more by myself. I could do one definitely and 2 most times but 3 or more was a tough one.
Pickup lines are lame, but this one never fails: "Hello Baby. Has anyone ever told you that you favor Duchess Louise of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, the late Queen Consort of Prussia?" Works every time.
