Little Danny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up--fireman, policeman, etc. Danny was being very quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good,he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Danny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said Danny, "He plays for the St. Louis Cardinals, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids." If this has been posted before, lock it up....
crap. What did the Astro say before he dealt some Texas Hold'em? "I'm gonna burn a card before they flop."
What did the little boy ask for when the waiter served him Cardinal on a plate? he said, "Please pass the Oswalt."