COMMENTARY: NBA - Answer the call 1:23 AM 6/20/04 Tom Oates Wisconsin State Journal R-i-i-i-i-ing. R-i-i-i-i-ing." < "Hello, Oates here." < "Tom, this is Larry Brown of the NBA champion Detroit Pistons." < "Geez, Larry, you're not calling about that Lakers-in-five prediction are you? I wasn't the only one who picked Los Angeles to crush you in the finals, you know." < "Awww, that's the least of my worries. Besides, it was a blast showing all of you self-anointed experts that a team without a superstar can win an NBA title if it plays the right way. No, I've got bigger problems than that. I'm going to coach Team USA in the Summer Olympics in August and I'm having a tough time putting together a roster." < "What's the problem, Larry? The NBA has hundreds of players who could go to Athens and bring home the gold just by going through the motions." < "If I want a team that goes through the motions, I'll take the Lakers over there." < "You're too late, Larry. It looks like they've already disbanded. Permanently." < "I know the feeling. Seven of the nine guys who originally committed to play on the Olympic team dropped out. No Shaq, no Kobe, no Kevin Garnett, no Jason Kidd, no Ray Allen, no Tracy McGrady. Some of them are getting married just so they don't have to go. Can you believe that? An NBA player getting married?" < "Larry, maybe we should go back to using college players in the Olympics." < "Can't. They're all in the NBA." < "Then what about second-tier NBA stars? Surely, they'll be interested. After all, the entire nation will be watching, or at least it will until NBC cuts away in the second half to show that 10-minute feature on the skeet shooter who had his trigger finger amputated." < "Wrong again. Jermaine O'Neal, Vince Carter, Kenyon Martin, Mike Bibby and Elton Brand all backed out, too. Heck, I'm scrambling to find replacements for the replacements." < "I don't get it, Larry. A chance to acquire more gold is the type of motivation these guys usually understand. What's wrong with them?" < "Security concerns, I guess. We're at war with Iraq and the Greeks aren't exactly the Pinkertons of Europe. The prospect of terrorists striking during the Olympics has these guys spooked." < "You can't really blame them, Larry. They'll be the most high-profile athletes at the Games and they're Americans. If anyone will have a target on their backs, it will be them." < "Are you kidding? These guys will have tighter security than the President. Heck, some of them already have that on their own. Besides, they'll be sequestered. Reporters will get closer to the Olympic Village than they will. I just don't understand not wanting to represent your country." < "This isn't a question of patriotism, Larry. It's a basketball tournament, not a war." < "Then why do I have to beg to get players to go? Why is my lineup going to look like the Los Angeles Clippers?" < "Apathy, Larry. These guys just don't care anymore. The Dream Team was a big deal 12 years ago, but playing in the Olympics has lost its appeal. In 1992, we had a score to settle with the Russians and, more important, there were marketing possibilities galore. Then the Soviet Union dissolved more quickly than the Lakers and the shoe companies started throwing their money at high school kids. These guys have nothing to play for, so they don't want to go." < "I can't imagine that. I played on the Olympic team in 1964. How can a player put himself above his country? How can a player put personal concerns above winning?" < "Didn't you watch Gary Payton in the finals, Larry?" < "Heck, I'd even take Payton about now. In fact, my buddy George Karl just called to recommend him. As we speak, I've got Tim Duncan, Allen Iverson and a bunch of kids, most of whom have never been in international competition. I'm worried sick. I don't want to get embarrassed with the whole world watching like George did two years ago." < "So what do you need from me, Larry?" < "How would you like to play on the Olympic team?" < "Boy, you really are desperate. I'm old, I'm slow, I'm overweight, I'm white and I haven't picked up a basketball in five years." < "Perfect. That means you've got fresh legs." < "You didn't see me trying to get out of bed this morning, Larry. Besides, I have other possibilities to consider." < "Oh yeah, like that?" < "The Lakers called. They want me to play for them." < Contact Tom Oates at toates@madison.com or 252-6172. http://www.madison.com/wisconsinstatejournal/sports/76756.php
