Ettiquette Question: Divorce - Congrats or Condolences?

I say, Boo yah!

 

I think it depends on the person and the situation. I would automatically go "Congrats, you didn't need them anyway, blah blah", but if they were dropped out of nowhere and are sad that is probably the last thing they want to hear.

 

Anyone who's been through a divorce as spouse or a child would give qualified condolensces. Though I personally think they should be completely standardized and wholly outsourced to auditors and social workers, the actual hatred and viciousness that they ultimately mitigate is a lot worse.

 

I usually say something like, "Well, five years is a long time to be married."

 

The proper move is to throw a Divorce Party for said divorcee. Cake is customary.

 

In all seriousness, usually condolences when the split first happens, and then congrats after it becomes official.

 

I wouldn't offer either. I'd let them know I heard about the divorce and then ask how they are doing.

 

is this a joke?

Condolences without question

Marriage shouldn't be something you celebrate ending

 

It sucks no matter what.

 

I make a thread on a basketball board asking about it.

 

Chest bump IMO.

 

My brother just got divorced... I hate his wife. Congrats to him!!!

 

This.

 

The proper etiquette is to offer condolences. If it is a good thing, they will tell you immediately, then you can revise to congratulations.

 

I think we should leave it up to the individual to decide whether or not they should feel happy or sad about it.

It's not our place to decide for them.

 

Speaking as someone who's been there and had it end under one of the worst possible circumstances, 99% of those that say they're happy the second they realize their marriage is over is lying. They may end up happy about it (I sure as hell am), but they're not in that moment.

 

People can be happy about it one moment, and sad about it the next. (going through this right now with a girl I'm seeing, in fact)

Weslinder pretty much nailed it.

 

Congrats.

When My best friend ended his 2 year marriage I damn near laughed in front of him and asked him, "what took you so long?" She was the worst thing to happen to him and I supported him on his decision to get married but when they called it quits I told him he made the right choice.