[Detroit Examiner] Top 10 (Hou-#6) worst sports uniforms of all time

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by jsmee2000, Jul 27, 2008.

  1. jsmee2000

    jsmee2000 Contributing Member

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    Top 10 worst sports uniforms of all time
    Jul 27, 2008 3:00 AM (5 hrs ago) by Tony Giro, The Examiner

    BALTIMORE (Map, News) - 10 Baltimore Orioles, 1971: Be sure to break out the Blueblockers to protect your retinas if you come across this photographic evidence of the monstrosity that was the team’s alternate uniform that season. The only way you can exit the dugout dressed like candy corn — orange tops and bottoms — and still have any dignity is if you have McNally, Palmer, Cuellar or Dobson heading to the hump. How many guys in the clubhouse called Boog Powell the “Great Pumpkin” when he donned these dubious digs?

    9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1976-1996: Why did it take 20 years before somebody pulled the plug on these puke-orange uniforms? Vinny Testaverde didn’t need any help looking like hot garbage when he was in Tampa, but he sure got a boost from this ensemble. The color scheme is so bad, even the Buccaneer logo on the helmet, “Bucco Bruce,” is wincing in agony. That, or he stabbed himself in the eye with his dagger in an effort to ease the pain of being a pastel bandit.

    8 Anaheim Mighty Ducks, 1993-2005: I don’t care how scrappy Emilio Estevez was in the role of “Coach Bombay” — no team should be named after a Disney film. It should be strictly forbidden to make professional hockey players wear a uniform with a gigantic, duck-shaped goalie mask across the chest.

    7 Toronto Raptors, 1996-2002: Scene from the Raptors’ first logo design meeting: “How about we start with the timeless color combination of purple, red, black and white, add pinstripes and then we slap a 10-inch cartoon dinosaur dribbling a basketball across the chest? Who’s with me? Isiah? Yes? Yes!!!” The uniform is the worst thing to come out of Canada since Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

    (Also check out the alternate logo the Raptors used from 1996-98 which featured a dinosaur either hatching from, or humping, a basketball. Either way, there is simply no excuse for this malfeasance.)

    6 Houston Rockets, 1995-2003: The uniforms were not inspired by a major motion picture film like those of the Raptors and Ducks, but the Rockets revamped their basic red, yellow and white uniforms with a disgruntled, cartoon rocket orbiting a basketball. Add the fading pinstripes, a horrific font and the mini-number placed in the breast region, and you know why Steve Francis was never the same after wearing this uniform.

    5 San Diego Padres, 1969-1991: Sure, I can dig a logo featuring a monk dressed in a flowing robe swinging for the fences. But the doo-doo brown and pee-pee yellow uniforms remind me of my son’s diaper after a Chicken McNugget binge. Brown: bad. Yellow: bad. Brown and yellow together: potty-training time.

    4 Baltimore Ravens, 1996-1998: Apparently, just having a team back in Baltimore was good enough for us because no one really cared how stupid the Ravens looked on the field. The number style was hideous, the black pants with an eight-inch wide stripe down the side were brutal and the idea of wearing a purple jersey with black pants was worse than Deron Jenkins. Leave it to a guy from my hometown of Arbutus to come up with a logo featuring a capital “B” with wings. My man must’ve drawn that one up on a cocktail napkin after a long night at Shuffle’s Saloon.

    3 Houston Astros, 1975-1979: Question: Why was “AstroTurf” invented? Answer: Because the guy in charge of outfitting the Astros was smoking all the grass. Seriously, how many stripes are too many? Try to convince yourself you like these unis, you and I both know Joaquin Andujar did not look cool dressed as the emergency broadcasting system.

    2 Washington Wizards, (Alternate) 2006-present: What the hell are these things? Shiny, black shorts coupled with shimmering gold jerseys with enough stars to demand their own solar system have no place, well, anywhere. If somebody told me Olivia Newton-John designed these uniforms for a remake of “Xanadu” I wouldn’t be shocked. Just another reason why the Wizards should return to Baltimore, take the name Bullets back and adorn the classic orange and blue worn by Earl “The Pearl.”

    1 Chicago White Sox, 1976: The undisputed champions of textile tackiness could be ridiculed for any number of fashion faux-pas over the years, but you know where I’m going with this one. A navy and white, poly-cotton blend leisure suit featuring shorts and jerseys with butterfly collars was the uniform du jour for a team that won only 64 games. Luckily, sequined stirrups were scrapped.

    ----

    I searched for pics on these teams...Here is what I found

    Baltimore Orioles 1971:
    [​IMG]

    Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1976-1996
    [​IMG]

    Anaheim Mighty Ducks, 1993-2005:
    [​IMG]

    Toronto Raptors, 1996-2002:
    [​IMG]

    Houston Rockets, 1995-2003:
    [​IMG] (What a disgrace Pip is on the pic! Based on that this should be voted worst uniform ever!)

    San Diego Padres, 1969-1991:
    [​IMG]

    Baltimore Ravens, 1996-1998:
    [​IMG]

    Houston Astros, 1975-1979:
    [​IMG]

    Washington Wizards, (Alternate) 2006-present:
    [​IMG]

    Chicago White Sox, 1976:
    [​IMG]

    What do you all think? Was there a team not on this list that deserves to be? If you had a top 10 NBA worst uniforms who would you include?
     
  2. dntrwl

    dntrwl Member

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    The Astros jersey seems like the biggest retro jersey in baseball that sells, so I dunno why it classifies as one of the worst. The Wizards jersey looks fine to me as well.

    The old pajama Rocket jersey combined with Quitten and about 7 years of suck just made it worse.
     
  3. roflmcwaffles

    roflmcwaffles Member

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    I think the Ravens and the Wizards are fine. The Astros one isn't terrible either, but I can't think of anything worse because I don't know all the jerseys and don't feel like looking through :D.

    I guess the grizzlies' old logo with the Giant fing grizzly was kinda lame.

    But not a bad list most of those jerseys are pretty bad.
     
  4. jgreen91

    jgreen91 Member

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    I still think the rockets uniform should be number 1. I said it back then when they first came out that they were the absolute worst uniforms I've ever seen.
     
  5. Mango

    Mango Contributing Member

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    That this thread doesn't belong in the GARM.
     
  6. krosfyah

    krosfyah Contributing Member

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    The Astro's jersey is soooo ugly it went beyond bad and actually comes back to cool. It takes a lot of balls to wear something that ugly ...so props.

    Rockets ...no. Not ugly enough to make the turn so it's bottom of the barrel.
     
  7. conquistador#11

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    the detroit pistons didn't make the list? That horse on fire or whatever it was, was not pleasing at all.
     
  8. Tigerknee

    Tigerknee Contributing Member

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    What I'm wondering is, who the hell did it get approved? I cannot imagine sitting in a board meeting, someone bringing out the design, then everyone saying "Hey, that looks pretty good! APPROVED!" *claps* :confused: :confused:
     
  9. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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    Pippen could make a burlap sack look good -- what up hawty !
     
  10. jamescar

    jamescar Member

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    I think the Blue Rockets version was worse than the white.
     
  11. steddinotayto

    steddinotayto Contributing Member

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    Detroit, please take a look in the mirror:

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Roc Paint

    Roc Paint Contributing Member

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    I thought they were referring to the current Rocket uniforms. (hideous)
     
  13. cshen

    cshen Member

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    I like Wizards' uniform..... :mad:
     
  14. Locke

    Locke Member

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    Those PJs still give me nightmares. I cant imagine anyone buying one to wear around as a fan.
     
  15. Hobbs

    Hobbs Member

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    The byline is from Baltimore and the paper it came from is a national chain, so this isn't an article from Detroit.

    Anyway, yeah, the Teal Curse Pistons jersey were horrible, disgusting, putrid and a whole lot more. The first thing Dumars did when he was hired was say he was eliminating the color scheme and logo as soon as possible. Thank God for that.
     
  16. Pat

    Pat Contributing Member

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    If you are old enough you will remember the Charles Finley Oakland A's had some awful unis.
     
  17. QdoubleA

    QdoubleA Member

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    The Wiz uniforms are awesome. I don't see whats wrong with our current uniorms tho, looks cool to me.
     
  18. Scarface

    Scarface Contributing Member

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    Before I opened this thread I would have sworn only the creator of those unis would have said that but I guess there are a couple of other people that like it also.

    In my opinion those are some of the worst looking jerseys on a sports team period.
     
  19. kmoney

    kmoney Member

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  20. krosfyah

    krosfyah Contributing Member

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    dayum. I forgot about those Denver uni's. They are terrible. They are almost as ugly as the old Astro's uni's but not quite, therefore aren't as cool.
     

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