Best Chuck Norris FACTS

I didn't find it funny three years ago.

 

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.



(HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUCK!!!)

 

welcome to the year 2004

 

chuck norris slams revolving doors.

chuck norris can kill 2 stones with one bird

 

Really, I thought these were dead. Didn't he sue somebody because they made a book about them? Chuck Norris doesn't use douche bags because he is one.

 

aww come on guys it's his birthday - have a little fun and share a fact. Quit being so catty.

 

Chuck Norris isn't gay, his boyfriend is.

 

What kind of condom does Chuck Norris use?

Spoiler

Nothing, there isn't any protection from Chuck Norris.

 

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents everytime he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.Chuck

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

 

I'd sue too if someone were profiting off of my name and popularity, even in a facetious way.

 

Chuck Norris has characteristics in common with both a particle and a wave.

 

Chuck Norris can unsee the arrow in the FedEx logo.

 

LOL!!! Nice one!

 

Chuck Norris once killed a lesbian who suggested a minage e trois, because nobody f**ks with Chuck Norris.

 

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

 

Wow, those are awesome.

 

C'mon guys, he just visited the troops, that's all Sage was talking about...btw, Jack Bauer is better...

 

1. In a recruiting fight between Coach K. and Billy D., BCG wins.
2. BCG met every high school coach in America. Twice.
3. BCG does not go recruiting because the word recruit infers the possibility of failure. BCG goes signing.
4. If you can see BCG, he is recruiting you. If you can’t see BCG you may be only seconds away from from signing a LOI.
5. When Ricky P. goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for BCG.
6. There are no recruits on mars. BCG checked.
7. BCG invented text messaging.
8. BCG didn’t leave his Christmas tree up until June. He rescheduled Christmas so it didn’t interfere with his recruiting.
9. BCG does not sleep. He waits.
10. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 800 AD. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered BCG”
11. The coaching population divides into two groups, those who fear BCG and BCG.
12. There is no list of recruits at other schools. Just a list of prospects BCG has allowed them to talk to.
13. BCG’s blood type is B+. Blue Positive.
14. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, BCG lives in Lexington.
15. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not BCG.
16. BCG is 1/8th Basketball. He ate one 2 years ago.
17. In High school, Billy Clyde was voted “Most likely to make Rick Pitino cry”.
18. Billy G taught Chuck Norris everything he knows, and Chuck to this day refers to him as coach.