I've been playing something almost my entire life. Piano, drums, guitar, percussion, choir.... I hate bragging but I'm pretty good at it after 25 years. But I've never had to play like this...usually with a group, even solos it wasn't with this kind of pressure or emotion behind it. My sister wants me to play for her wedding, as she walks down the aisle. The piece is Jupiter from the Planets symphony by Holst...just the hymn part. It's fairly difficult on guitar but I can play it...thing is, I honestly don't know if I'm going to be able to shut out the moment and be a musician for 3 minutes. Has anyone had to play for a particularly emotional moment like this? Any advice?
I've had a couple of instances. Once when I was pretty young and was asked to play for a funeral ... I honestly don't know how I made it through that one. The other was when I was asked to play at a pretty huge convention and some guy had just gone before me and absolutely destroyed on the keys and I was wondering how I could possibly follow him up with my relatively meager skills. After many years of experience, what I've learned is simply this: you just get into your own zone. Forget about the stage, forget about the gravity of the moment. All I care about right now is that I'm playing this keyboard here, and I'm pretty darned good at playing the keyboard, and I'm going to do my thing. That's all. I don't allow my mood to drift with the stage or the event -- I just do what I do. It also helps to do a sound check/test ahead of time -- just to get comfortable with the instrument, sound system etc. That way you're not thrown off when something is too loud or you're not hearing yourself well etc.
I play the piano and saxophone, 18 years on both... Not so much the sax anymore, but I can still blow. As for your question, you'll be just fine. Especially if you're able to capture your emotion and let it reflect through your performance. You may even surprise yourself with riffs or fills that you've never hit before or have struggled with. It'll just flow through you and out of your instrument like water. I like to call it an out of body... Basically a performance that you instantly know that you'll never be able to replicate. Not in that exact way at least. Just be confident and open, and let it flow.
Keep in mind that you are your own worst critic by FAR. Most "mistakes" you make won't even be noticed by the listener (unless it's just a trainwreck). Don't be intimidated by your audience. You can play the guitar and they can't, so there's really no reason for them to intimidate you. Most of them want you to do well anyway, especially if they're your friends and family at a wedding. Oh, and maybe have a stiff drink before you start.....just to take the edge off, ya savvy?
once you play, you'll get in the zone... and focus on your music. the moment i start thinking about the gravity of the event or the number of people staring at me, all schitte will break lose. i usually don't look at the audience as much as i can, but hard not to look when it's your sis' wedding. i've done weddings, but not during the most important part with the bride walking down the damn isle. should've said no. good luck breh
I love Holst, but I think Mars would be more appropriate for a wedding than Jupiter. You know, 'bringer of war' and all....
Or maybe just tell your sister that the wedding march would be more appropriate and then hire this guy:
That out-of-body comment resonates big time...it's been a while but marching drumline and playing for corps during the summers were exactly like that. Practiced so much you just went to autopilot/black out mode...some our biggest shows in drum corps had 25,000+ in the stadiums and all I can ever remember is looking up before the major counted off. That was like 12 years ago now lol and I probably don't have 14 hours a day to practice to get that autopilot back.
ima-drummer, funny "mars" is also a beloved tune. in my drumline days we used to ram the 5/4 beat in the stands during football games. good times. funny story about the "wedding march" i'm playing in an old, extremely strict episcopal church...i had to audition lol seriously. the "WM" as we know it is from some old opera or something and is considered secular music, thus not allowed. the hymn part of jupiter was converted by someone in the church and is accepted though, happens to be probably my favorite symphony ever.
Hey. I actually played a funeral about 3 weeks ago. Its a difficult, kind of awkward situation if you let it be. I've been touring and performing now for a long while. At one point all these things were hard but one thing that really helped me was to separate the music from own ego for a while. (I play good, I play bad, etc.) Just think of your instrument as using a tool like using a typewriter or something and just focus on the fingerings ect. If everything is solid without having to think about it then only your own mind can get in the way. I would actually wager that most of us would play even better at first if we focused on something else and let the fingers do their job. I know it can seem a little counterintuitive. A great book that really helped me was Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner. It is a best seller in conservatory culture and I would highly recommend it for these kinds of things and just for musicians in general.
I've sang and played guitar or piano at pretty much every family wedding/big family function for the past 10 years or so. Obviously it's hard, but like others have said, just focus on the music, and let your emotion come out through your playing.
There was one I read about playing tennis actually, said something similar to most of the responses here. I think I'm going to ask my pastor if I can play in church before the wedding, just to get any residual jitters out, get a chance to perform the piece with no expectations or anything and not have the first time playing it for anyone be at the wedding.
