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Ahhh, the NBA playoffs are here (aka: The OFFICIAL Utah Jazz hate thread part deux)

Discussion in 'NBA Dish' started by A-Train, Apr 18, 2002.

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  1. A-Train

    A-Train Contributing Member

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    April is definitely a good sports month. NCAA championship game, baseball opening day, The Masters, The NFL draft, and the NHL playoffs all highlight the month of April.

    Being a hoops junkie, however, the NBA playoffs are my favorite part of April...well, besides my wife yelling "APRIL FOOLS!!" after having an orgasm on April 1st.

    I can't wait for those double headers on TNT and TBS with Ernie, Charles, and The Jet. Marv Albert's excellent play by play compliments Bill Walton's analysis perfectly. Yes, call me insane, but I'm one of the 17 people in this country that actually enjoys Bill Walton's commentary. He's the <i>Dude, Where's My Car</i> of color commentators...So lame that he's actually cool.

    There are two things that shine above all else when it comes to playoff basketball, however...Watching the Rockets win and Watching the Jazz lose. Since the former is questionable for at least a couple more years, I can always revel in watching the annual Jazz Meltdown.

    The sun will rise in the East...Bill Gates will make another $50 million by lunchtime tomorrow...The Jazz will lose in the playoffs...Call up your physics professor, I think we have a new law! Newton, eat your heart out!

    Watching the Jazz in the playoffs is kind of like watching a Loony Toons cartoon...

    You KNOW that Wiley Coyote is going to fall off the cliff
    You KNOW that Bugs Bunny will stick his finger into Yosemite Sam's gun, causing it to blow up in his face
    You KNOW that Daffy Duck will yell "DUCK SEASON, FIRE!!" and get his beak blown halfway to New Hampshire

    You KNOW that the Jazz will lose in the playoffs...What do you do? Right, just like the loony toons, you watch and you laugh anyways, even though you've seen it a hundred times before.

    Not only do I get to watch the Jazz lose in the playoffs again, but I get to watch them lose to the KINGS! Ever since the Kings went on their late season tear to win the Pacific Division, I wanted a Kings/Jazz first round matchup. Check out these scores in the season series this year

    Kings 113 Jazz 80
    Kings 114 Jazz 90
    Kings 107 Jazz 81
    Kings 117 Jazz 109

    The Kings have beaten the Jazz by a combined <b>91 POINTS </b> this season! Heck, they beat the Rockets by that much in EACH game this season

    So, my fellow Rockets fans, I implore you to not fall asleep for the next six months, waking up only for the lottery and draft night. If anything, at least watch the Kings go Roto Rooter on the Jazz over the next week. You needn't worry about those "if necessary" games, either, because I'll bet anything on Sacramento whipping out the brooms on April 27. My only regret is that the final nail in the coffin before the Jazz go to lottery purgatory will be three swift and painless 30 point thrashings, rather than a slow, painful death that the Utah Jazz so rightfully deserve...

    Let the playoffs begin!
     
    #1 A-Train, Apr 18, 2002
  2. lpbman

    lpbman Member

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          outstanding
     
    #2 lpbman, Apr 18, 2002
  3. GATER

    GATER Contributing Member

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    Even though there won't be any Rockets playoff action to enjoy this season, a 3 game smashing of the Jazz will definitely put a BIG smile in my face. :)
     
    #3 GATER, Apr 18, 2002
  4. RunninRaven

    RunninRaven Contributing Member
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    I still wish it were the Mavericks playing the Jazz so I could at least be there for one of the final playoff games the Jazz will experience for a long time.

    But seeing them lose on TV and go wee wee wee all the way home will be almost as good. I hope Jenna enjoys her last glimpse of her boy Karla on TV during the playoffs. I have a feeling it will be his last. :D
     
    #4 RunninRaven, Apr 18, 2002
  5. BigTwoston

    BigTwoston Member

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    I would like to see stockton dribbling the ball down the court...and then fall over and die of a heart attack.....:D
     
    #5 BigTwoston, Apr 21, 2002
  6. LongTimeFan

    LongTimeFan Contributing Member

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    It was even better to see the newcomer Jazz lose the game for Malone/Stockton. Classic :)

    "it was coming off..."
     
    #6 LongTimeFan, Apr 21, 2002
  7. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    If you go to utahjazz.com, their official site, this is what it reads :

    -------------------

    The Utah Jazz have clinched the playoffs for the 19th straight year!!!

    Not the Knicks,
    Not the Bulls,
    Not the legendary Celtics,
    Not even the Lakers can say that.

    -------------------

    So what they're saying is that they keep failing to win something. I don't get how this is a good thing. They're proud they've been to the playoffs that many times and have come up empty-handed. Well, no other team has gone to the playoffs that many consecutive years and come out with nothing to show for it...

    Not the Knicks,
    Not the Bulls,
    Not the legendary Celtics,
    Not even the Lakers can say that.

    :)
     
    #7 Dr of Dunk, Apr 21, 2002
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