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A Plea to Chase: Summon your Inner WB

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by verse, Apr 6, 2010.

  1. verse

    verse Contributing Member

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    Ok, Chase we all get it. You were eschewed on draft night, cast aside to be selected with 2nd round scrubs (put your fingers in your ears, Dejuan, I'm not talking about you). The NBA community spoke up and you smashed that volley right back down their collective throats. Now can give us a "F'n A!". Lol. ("Lol" isn't the most professional verbiage, but it's the best way I can get my point across...since there's no smiley dude with his tongue in his cheek).

    Chase, I want to see your Billy Hoyle. I don't care that the fashion is long shorts and swagger. I want to see nuthuggers and tube socks. It's not that I have a problem with how you are. You're incredibly athletic - talented in the paint as well as beyond the arc. I just know how disturbing it would be to opponents to be schooled and fooled by someone you'd love to punch in his sun-protected, Liquid-paper white nose (being black, I can't even tell you what the name of that sunblock stuff is. I just know it's hard to ignore and should be illegal to more than the Beach Fashion Police. That stuff's ridiculous.)

    Had it been Jeff Hornacek dunking on Olajuwon, instead of Kevin Johnson, I don't think we ever would've recovered as a city. You think "Houston, you have a problem" is played out? Think about how Mark Jackson feels as his Tom Chambers tea bag dunk is replayed to this day. Lots of folks get dunked on, but that kind of ignominy is eternal damnation.

    I need tube socks and a ridiculous white guy dance after you've emasculated opposing centers. Mix in something twitchy, if you can. Maybe a ill-timed fistpump. Give me your volleyball spike as your celebratory stamp. For God's sake, Chase your name anagrams into "Sir Beach Nudge" (check it out, it really does). Why do you deny what God has blessed you with?!

    Your teammates should be upset with you. Offended and hurt and...hurt. Should you live to your full Paul Mokeski potential, should you embrace your inner Rambis, your Hornacek/Dr J lovechild, you'd be the lightning rod of this team. You'd be a hit in the US, China, certainly Germany or any other predominantly white area. It certainly wouldn't hurt our national exposure prospects to have the new, improved and better White Rodman. Come on Chase! Give it to me with a double fistpump hip thrust! Give me a "WB" tattoo. I want teams focused on you while Aaron, Kevin, Scola and crew carve them quietly. You? You have a different, and much more entertaining role to play. Just don't forget that pasty sunblock stuff. That, on a Chase-dunks-on-Superman poster would be legendary.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. REEKO_HTOWN

    REEKO_HTOWN I'm Rich Biiiiaaatch!

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    I feel bad for Chase, his pigmentation seems to cause people to to lose it.

    Just play Chase. Just play.
     
  3. verse

    verse Contributing Member

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    Do you feel sorry for Joe Johnson*? His pigmentation seems to cause people to think he's athletic.




    *props to Carl Herrera for properly identifying Joe Johnson as Lincoln Osiris.
     
  4. REEKO_HTOWN

    REEKO_HTOWN I'm Rich Biiiiaaatch!

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    But I thought Bud WAS the Black Joe Johnson :confused:
     
  5. verse

    verse Contributing Member

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    He is! He's Eddie Murphy, SNL Era. Check out

    Saturday Night Live: White Like Me
     
  6. thumbs

    thumbs Contributing Member

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    Great post, verse. I condensed it to the best parts above. Love the anagram and the volleyball spike comments, although I am proud of Chase for his lack of tats and his business-as-usual composure. Nice read.
     
  7. verse

    verse Contributing Member

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    Chase needs to hire an image consultant. D Wade tried to rock the geek chic at the allstar game. Chase could "Showtime at the Apollo" Sandman-sweep-him-off-the-stage if he so desired. All while dunking on Jermaine or Michael or Tito or whomever Wade's next teammate is.
     
  8. thumbs

    thumbs Contributing Member

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    Your anagram could also be "Sir Beached Gun" or "Sired Beach Gun." ;)

    Afterall, "I Cheer Bad Guns."
     
    #8 thumbs, Apr 6, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2010
  9. DaDakota

    DaDakota Contributing Member

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    A combination between Brent Barry and Tom Chambers.

    DD
     
  10. mattrbowers

    mattrbowers Member

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    Two words:

    Napoleon Dynamite
     
  11. Angkor Wat

    Angkor Wat Member

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    lol so you want him to be that stereotype white guy? you just set white folks back 75 years. mine as well 'do the right thing' and throw a larry bird jersey on him.
     
  12. REEKO_HTOWN

    REEKO_HTOWN I'm Rich Biiiiaaatch!

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    you asked for it

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Angkor Wat

    Angkor Wat Member

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    <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/w7UZ9g8wvFI&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/w7UZ9g8wvFI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
     
  14. verse

    verse Contributing Member

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    If Chase ever ripped off his jersey and had a "Vote for Pedro" shirt on underneath, I'd immediately retire his number.

    When we win the championship, Chase isn't going to Disneyland. He's going to Alaska with his uncle, Daryl, to hunt wolverines.
     
    #14 verse, Apr 6, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2010
  15. LCII

    LCII Contributing Member

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    He needs to dress like this guy

    [​IMG]

    then hustle the opponent for hundreds of dollars.
     
  16. Tiger23

    Tiger23 Member

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    lol u guys are crazy, im in full agreement

    rock the the long socks Bud :cool:
     
  17. dachuda86

    dachuda86 Member

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    Who would have though a white person could play basketball!


    dude, let it go.
     
  18. Yetti

    Yetti Contributing Member

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    I don't think we need to be saying anything about our players, especially their skin tone or about their individuality.
    Buddinger looks quite normal to me, having many red haired relatives, who's skin avoids getting tanned at all costs. :p
     
  19. Xsatyr

    Xsatyr Member

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    His posture was just like Napoleon Dynamite when he made that three late in the game against Celtics off the tipped ball from Hill. Wish someone had a vid of that.
     
  20. Xsatyr

    Xsatyr Member

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    Check out the vid at 1:12, after he makes the shot he has the same clumsy look, lol.
     
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