Clutchfans, I smell real bad right now. It's only 2:00pm. What am I going to do for the rest of the day? I booked fake meetings on my calendar so no one will ask to meet with me in a small room but there's no guarantee that won't happen anyway. I think I wore this exact same shirt/pants combination last week and didn't wash it. I must have walked around outside some last week while wearing it because after doing the same today I was overwhelmed with my own bad smell. No one has said anything yet but damn, I don't know what to do other than spend the next 2.5 hours sitting in a bathroom stall.
Reminds me of the time I accidentally pissed my pants at the law firm I worked at in college. Just go tell your boss that you've been puking in the bathroom and you gotta jet.
Say you have an emergency and have to leave early Say you have to go pick up something, maybe some medication Say you have to go help a friend, maybe their car broke down Say you just heard from someone at your complex (assuming you live in an apartment or condo), there's a water leak and you need to get home fast If someone comes in, ask them what it is before they ask you
I'm already the guy who comes in last and leaves earliest (forgive me for not wanting to come in at 5:00 and stay until 6:00. Seriously who the f*** does that for a sub-$80K job???) so I don't want to leave too early. Can't do the job naked anymore while sitting in my cubicle. Times have changed. I'm about to go up 15 or so floors and just sit in a stall for a while. I don't know what else I can do.
Maybe rub some soap onto yourself in the restroom and dry it off lightly with paper towels. It might help to negate the smell from your shirt. I did that once when my feet sweated and my flip flops stank up the room - it helped a bit
Be real and make fun of yourself with others make it a memory. Stop worrying about what others thing and make this a memorable moment. Of course, only if you reek with self confidence.
I am reminded of the Chappelle Show sketch in which the PopCopy employee says to the coworker next to her "man, my butt itches...and I took a shower..."
Well I decided against going up several floors (don't want to be in the elevator with someone) so I just went down a few floors and claimed a stall. Took off my button up shirt and under shirt because why not. I'm in the 2nd of 3 stalls. Other two are occupied and it sounds like the occupants are hiding in here as well. Follow me on Twitter for live updates over the next couple of hours.
