[The young and the restless] Going to the beach

They said it couldn't be done, but I went ahead and did it. And you guys, with the exception of jealous hags like DonnyMost, had my back each step of the way. #4 baby, I have arrived. And for that, I want to repay you. The people of clutchfans. I'm ready to share more of my life with you.

People often ask me, what's the key to looking young? And I tell them, being young. Staying hydrated and laughing a lot is the golden rule to men's aesthetics. I stay moisturized because moisture is the essence of life.

Others ask me, why don't you wear tighter shirts? Why don't you show off what yo momma gave you? Quite simply, I don't need to. My biggest muscle is my brain so being the class act that I am, I wear plain colors (no logo's or designs) and try to stay as low profile as possible with shirts from Zara, Burberry, H&C etc.

And now, for the main event. My attire.

I will be wearing hot shorts with a blue/white sailor wifebeater. Just casual you know. Some slippers. Ray Ban sunglasses. Shampoo'ed with Korres and getting my Korres sunscreen on. I fully endorse these products since they are not animal tested and have all the minerals a human could ask for. Just super chill. My inner circle will most likely be wearing lame **** but they're super chill too so no one cares.

This is the playlist I'll be publicly blasting in order to disturb the peace of those around me. Headphones are great, but when you're on the beach, creating a background tone really sets the mood as you stretch and move about. You want to let the common man know that you aren't a silent observer. That you're the main event, aka, the Big Ronny. This is known in my circles as living life. The key here is playing classy, smooth, down tempo progressive music. That way everyone is happy and no one under the age of 40 can complain.


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Just super chill. Chill out.

 

If they're Lebanese girls from Dearborn, then yes please. I'll be with the skinny white girls checking out the super curvy girls. I just want to get up in there. Normally when I talk to strangers at the beach, I keep things non invasive and gentlemanly. Good looking girls are responsive to courteous people in general. Guys in speedo's dripping in lotion who play racket ball and "coincidentally" fall on your ass... not so much.

The scenery will be mui magnifico. Skinny girls, curvy girls, thick thighs, skinny legs, butts that pop, sensitive coochie's... of all races, waiting to be conquered. All that visual stimulation makes us realize why we live on this planet.


Top 5 countries for beaches:

Spain
France
Italy
Australia
UAE

Cali and Texas are nice in their own ways, but they just don't compare.

So fly, on, over mah brotha.

 

Hopefully I'll be going to Florianopolis, Brazil for NYE. Check that place out if you can, it's the hidden gem of South America.

 

Lol I remember going to Kemah and eating at Joe's Crab Shack. The food was good but there was this lingering smell the whole time... like dead rodent mixed with salt water.


Another hidden gem if you're into tranquil beauty and nice water is Koh Phi Phi Don, Thailand. It has a unique subculture and isn't too mainstream touristy like Phuket. Close to where The Beach was filmed.