As you may or may not have heard me say, my fiance and I will be exchanging our vows this weekend. Before we do this, we’re going to create them. The vows will probably sound fairly general, but the discussions behind them will be very specific. We want to address as many issues as we can now, so that we aren’t blindsided later. I know that we can’t fully prepare ourselves for every issue that will arise in a marriage, but I want to be as fully prepared as possible, so as to make this a lasting one. Those of you who are or have been married, and whether you consider your marriage a success or not, please share with me any issues that you think we should discuss. We’ve got the glaring ones covered, like money, where to live, and what-not, but I’m interested in some more obscure things—things that you wouldn’t necessarily think of. Nothing is too trivial. Thank you ------------------ stop posting my damn signature
DUKE WILL HELP!!! 1) Make sure you include a "NO SEXING THE MAILMAN clase". MAN you will not regret it 2) DONOT be fooled into the JOINT CHECING scheme, my ex wife THAT HO used to spend ALL the DUKE's money on the Homo Shopping Network on TV. Well sure we got some NICE RONCO nose hair trimmers and other fancy stuff but THEN we got divorked and guess who got to keep the toys. Huh? RIGHT!!! DUKE GIVES you a hint, her name rhymes with "BLOW"!!!! 3) Get a prenupital agreement, that way YOU keep your goodes. 4) MAKE sure you donot say things you are thinking if your WIFE will not like them?!!? Like we were sitting at BREAKFAST one morning and she said, "DUKE do you want eggs!" and I meant to say "YES PLEASE" and instead I said "You damn w****, you ruined my life!!!!" That is all. FRANKLY from DUKe's perspecative you should not marry no one. IT LEADS TO hearbreaker. LIKE THE SONG!!! people talking all around about the WAY you lefft DUKE FLAT!! DUKE no care what the people say he KNOWS where their hive is at!! One thing DUKE has on his mind if you can explainify please do??? They way you call me another guys name when DUKE TRIES to MAKE SCHWERVE with YOUUUUUU! Led Zepalin wrote that. ------------------ DUKE WISDOM: if a tree falls in the FOREST and crushes a leprecon is it really dead?
Thank you Duke, I will try and remember all of that--it especially means a lot to me because I'm such a huge Zep fan--and often I have trouble understanding exactly what Robert Plant is saying. It's good to see it in print. Hopefully, this subject won't go too far off tangent with Duke's post. I'd still like some suggestions please. Thank you. ------------------ stop posting my damn signature
Make sure you set aside some time that each of you can spend with your friends, and do things you enjoy -- and clarify that it's OK. You each need some space of your own -- or you will get sick of seing each other. Clarify the money issues up front. Set up a budget, or at least guidelines, and make sure each person has money they can call theirs. Nothing can cause arguements, often silly ones, like money. It's much easier to decide this, and set up guidelines, before it becomes a problem. Don't even rush to set up a joint checking account, until you get comfortable sharing expenses, and decide you need one. It's not a trust issue -- it's an adjustment and comfort issue. Don't hide money either. (Exception -- it's ok to set aside a little "mad money" cash, for things you like to do. Try not to place yourself in a situation where you do any household chore all the time. It's really easy to start doing things at first to be nice, but later it can cause a problem when it's expected, and you are sick of it. Try to do a little something fun together once or twice a week. (Movie, Rockets game, lunch at a park, etc.) Do a big something fun at least once a month. (Astroworld, go camping, weekend out of town, etc.) It will add memories and spice to your relationship. It will also keep you from getting trapped in a rut. ------------------ Stay Cool...
Juan Valdez said exactly what I was going to say. Discussing all of those aspects of child-rearing is a must, especially religion and discipline. I'm not a religious man so it was no problem for me to allow my wife to raise our chidren as Catholics. I believe in corporal punishment and my wife doesn't but we never fought about that either. If you and your wife disagree strongly on either of those issues, better sort them out now. One last bit of advice, if fertility drugs become necessary for the two of you, be prepared for the worst. ------------------ [This message has been edited by grummett (edited June 30, 2000).]
Bottle up all your rage. Make her bake you plenty of cookies. And make sure to let her know that Rocket time is your time. Uh, another thing, if WHEN you argue, dont bring involve or talk to other people about it. Especially me. Just work through it with your wife. I need some dang cookies ... ------------------ No signature for you!
Lately there's been a ridiculous sensitive movement that has pushed the idea that "sex isn't everything". Regardless of your current feelings, realize this to be the bulls@#$t that it so plainly is. Sex... is everything. ------------------ no fat chicks
Religion. Especially if the two of you differ considerably. Within this realm, there is the issue of practice and also of the religious education (or lack thereof) of your children. Actually, I think there a lot of issues about child-rearing that would be good to discuss sooner rather than later. Number (baker's dozen?), discipline, education, etc. And most importantly, she must concede that they all be Rockets fans. ------------------ http://www.gaffordstudios.cjb.net/
If there is nothing nice to say about the in-laws, don't say anything. Decide who can and who can't live in your house and what are the rules and exceptions. If one of you can not handle the discussion, never talk about former boyfriend/girlfriend. Deciding how many kids you 2 want (JV, you beat me to it.) and when is a good time for both of you to start. Define your's and her personal time. No matter how mad you or your wife are at each other, never sleep in seperate beds. This has nothing to do with sex. It is much easier to settle a disagreement when you are next to each other. Never call the other person at work to continue/start an argument. Never bring in another person (as a way of comparison) during an argument. Never say "Do you know that Nancy always cook for her husband?" On to the more important things: -------------------------------- Decide if you can continue to goto topless bars. How much time you can spend on Clutchcity BBS. Who gets the control of the remote. Just my 2 cents. ------------------ "All doors must remain open in order to maintain proper air flow." - a quote from a US Home Customer Service Manager. I Don't Think So!!!
One of my favorite Bill Crosby jokes is on marriage/sex. (may not be exact!). Take a jar and a bag of beans. During the first year of marriage, put a bean in the jar every time you have sex. Starting on your first anniversary, take a bean out every time you have sex. You will never, ever, empty the jar. Of course, Pole, don't let her find the jar. Women just don't understand that sort of thing! Also (as if you are tempted) if you choose to do so, don't let Duke (LHutz) prepare a pre-nup for you, even if he offers to do it for free. If the "No sexing the mailman" clause doesn't phase her, I'm sure the sections on strippers and girlfriends will delay your wedding plans! I wish you the best of everything. Just make sure the love is there, and keep the fire going. ------------------ Stay Cool...
Do you Know about PMS well you are going to learn! They hide it from you for the first few months and the Bammm!! When you find out who can manage money and save then let that person do it. Do not try to second guess everything she does. You both are going to mess up at times Hindsight is a lot easier then foresite. Save $117.50 every month and every year invest it into something that will average 10% return. Don't touch! After 30 years that will be a million Bucks. and that will make a down payment on a economy car for retirment. When you get the 4 year and 7 year itch and the grass starts looking greener on the other side of the fence don't belive it. You better decide if it is worth giving up everything you worked far for a little pleasure, that after a little time will be the same as you have now only it is costing you a lot more now. Have been married 30 years to the same woman and she gave me permission to say this. ------------------ One minute ago you had 60 seconds longer to live then you have now. Did you enjoy the 60 seconds you just had? [This message has been edited by No Chance (edited July 01, 2000).]
