As a family with younger children, how important is it to have daily meals where the whole family is attending —> Social, Emotional and overall well being? Random thoughts need clarification.
don't care much to eat together, especially with different dietary regimens. also i eat out most of the time
https://www.goodnet.org/articles/9-scientifically-proven-reasons-to-eat-dinner-as-family 1. FAMILY DINNERS MEAN BETTER FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS 2. FAMILY MEALS LEAD TO HEALTHIER FOOD CHOICES 3. EATING AS A FAMILY LEADS TO BETTER GRADES 4. FAMILY DINNERS ARE A CHANCE TO EXPLORE NEW FOODS 5. FAMILY DINNERS LEAD TO GREATER HAPPINESS 6. HOMEMADE MEALS PROMOTE PORTION CONTROL 7. FAMILY DINNERS EQUAL HEALTHY KIDS 8. FAMILY DINNERS RELIEVE STRESS 9. EATING AT HOME SAVES MONEY
If I am home, we all sit together. This has been the case since my first son was born (he's 5 now). Even if I get home a little later, the kids will sit with me and we'll talk about our day. We find it extremely important. We can see differences in my family (who always sat together) and my wife's family (who didn't). I personally think it helps with manners to be sitting together, as opposed to in a room or in front of a TV.
I can't judge anyone for not wanting to communicate with their family but you can read a lot about your siblings and parents at the dinner table. Not even words but body language. I'd hate to be the brother who didn't see the turn for the worst in a sibling. I don't get the "no phones" deal. Kids can multitask and listen while they browse or whatever but having them there together i think is very important.
The only real reason people love each other is because of food and sex. You get food, you love the person giving it to you. As far as eating it together, I don't think so necessary for a good life. Maybe a different kind of life. For example, cats prefer not to eat together. And they do in fact exhibit independent behavior, but perfectly ok. They just don't need as much social interaction. Yet how great is it that they just go about their life. unlike dogs, who eat together and need and give constant attention. So I think, yes, you get better communication and bonding eating together as a family, greater shared knowledge and thought, but at the expense of greater independence and creativity. Some give and take.
That thread is called "the people you eat." And that's different. There is no real food science or neuroscience regarding cannibals. However, there is plenty of neuroscience and data on how food alters the current adolescent brain permanently and temporarily.
French and Italian cultures make dinners an event spanning 2-3 hours. They seem to look a lot healthier for it. For Americans, we consider time as money but how that time is spent is purely subjective. Is it me time, party time, down time, side hustle time, family time, etc... City life has the distractions to degrade institutions of community. Digital life makes it universally worse. Ironic given the diverse choices to strengthen communal bonds.
We try to eat at the table as a family as much as we can, but it's not as easy as it sounds, since a lot of the time we're all eating different things for dinner. I'm a picky eater and usually end up making my own dinner that no one else likes. If we're all eating the same thing, we definitley sit at the table. But that's really only once or twice a week. We do have a tradition of meeting at a restaurant for dinner after work every Friday where we all talk about our week.
This teaches bad habits though. My wife has been a 1st/2nd grade teacher for the last 25 years and has noted that in the past few years more and more kids do not look people in the eye when talking/listening to them. Despite the absence of cell phones in the classroom, they still don't look at other people during conversations. They simply don't know they're supposed too because they've grown up with their parents staring at a cell phone instead of looking at the child and vice/versa.
It begs the question tho', why do you need to look someone in the eye. Does it matter anymore if this and all future generations won't need it. Eye contact is basically saying I'm listening, but if they know your listening, why is it important.
Eating together is massively important. No phones for kids until they learn how to respectfully socialize.
Social norms is the answer. I understand your point, too though. The youth of America are being raised by electronics to the point where interfacing with another human is becoming a challenge for more than most realize. As the public we have learned to be excepting of all to the point there is not normal left to try to become. We are progressing to nothingness where nothing really matters and no consequences for actions shouldn’t be taken —> Decisions are based on emotion instead of logic. How one feels is of the most important. Never wrong just need another try—> reboot the computer, please.
We do both with no pattern or schedule just go with the flow but make sure to get both in about equally. However we have 4 kids 4-10 years old so doing anything in general is hard. Eating at a table. Eating at a restaurant. Eating in front of a tv. Getting in a car. Etc. Pretty much anything lol. But definitely eating together as a family is clearly beneficial to the family unit. Talk about our days. Talk about interesting facts. Talk about whether Russell Westbrook/James Harden will be scary. Play table/word games, etc.
Had a question on a side note, I see it all the time in restaurants. Two people who look like family (parent and child, or couples) never saying a word to one another. Just staring at the food or screen. Is this normal?
