[Girl problems] What the hell is wrong with me?

I'll tell you what op, when i was a freshman i had a class with two gorgeous women that were good friends. This was in Vegas and they were hostesses at one of the top night clubs on the strip.

Now I'm not shy, I'm quite confident. I look good but I'm not entirely in shape. But none the less it was a bit scary to say the least to approach them.

One day only one showed up, and we had small class related banter like pencils etc... like you said you have had. So i had been pumping myself up for weeks to quit being a pusay and say something.

So i started genuine conversation, about both school and personal life. Started walking and talking after class everyday.

I finally said fukk it and asked one out on a date. She said no. She had a boyfriend. But we became friends on fb and she got me into multiple clubs for free afterwards.

You see, after she told me no, i said i had to ask our i couldn't live with myself. To this day i don't regret it. She could have said fukk you your ugly, that's fine. It wouldn't bother me today. What would bother me, is if i never asked.

If you never ask is going to always bother you.

 

You left out the part about the third degree burns received from getting rejected.

 

So you neg rep me? I think your post would have been enough if I hurt someone. Dick move if it was you, should have just called me out and I would have apologized for tasteless joke. Screw you

 

I neg repped you and for good reason.

I hope you learned your lesson and don't question my decisions in the future again.

 

This guy is doing it wrong. Quickest way to Friends Zone.

 

Just realized only mods can neg rep, sorry for comments Baumer.

 

That sounds David Sternish

 

Ask yourself, "What do I have to lose?"

Well, there's the obvious of her refuses to engage in a conversation, or show no interest in being in one, and so you move on.

There's also the possibility she just becomes a friend..which can be changed down the line.

Don't feel you have to rush into this...keep it simple if you'd like. Little things like "Are you nervous about this test?" Or, if you have a friend in the class, sit by her and have your friend sit next to you, and let her see you being you, since you say you have a good personality and a good sense of humor.

I think the main focus of you being nervous is centered around the fact that you want to date this girl as soon as possible. You have the entire semester to get to that point. Just take it one step at a time, be confident, and give it your best shot.

Good luck!

 

Your comments about me are not upsetting but your comments about rape are. Some amazing women VERY close to me have been "Darren Sharpered" before. It isn't something to joke about.

 

99 problems....

 

I apologize man, it was a stupid insensitive post.

 

All good bud. It is just an issue that is close to me.

 

You think you are the only one who ever clammed up around a girl? Oh...it's only you who can't talk to the girl in class. This stuff happens all the time. There is nothing special about you in this scenario. You are just another name in a long list of people who froze up trying to talk to the girl they have a crush on. What's wrong with you? Where to begin? What's wrong with the human race?

 

Some of the humans think it's cool to make someone feel unimportant....

 

Way to douche up the joint, brah.

 

I didn't mean to offend. Just seriously...this is not an uncommon scenario. Just think if we had a thread for every time this happened.

But, my apologies. He could be shy, lack confidence, etc. . The obvious stuff. The not-so-obvious stuff is best left to the shrink.

 

This is common, I would guess about 98% of guys on the board, myself included, have been in this guys shoes before. When you aren't having the problem it sounds trivial but it sucks when it is you.

OP ... my best advice is talk to her when you are in a great mood. Don't try too hard. You will want to be natural and relaxed when you do it. As others have said: confidence is key.

Just remember no matter how ugly or awkward you are no chick is ever out of your league ... This guy dated Mila Kunis FOR 9 YEARS

 

I like the going early to class and shooting the sh**it beforehand move. But be subtle from beginning.

If the showing early doesnt produce I would also look at whether she takes notes.. then quickly say one day at right moment - 'Hey I wont be here xyz day' I noticed you take notes and would appreciate if could get those from you for that date' ..if she doesnt take notes then your screwed there.

So the next move is to see about exams and study groups. Pairing up would be ideal but cant be too hot on her from outset. Play it cool. if study pairing is not possible it can be done in a more unoffensive way like as a small group. perhaps a meeting of a few of the class before a test to get things going here.

This way you are not putting her on spot and is more casual for you. The study test angle is probably your best friend here.

you need to get past the pencil asking to the next phase. If you get any moment don't make it about majors, school, and what do for fun.. try to keep it somewhat intense.. about the school subject matter. When using the school angle..Several things are going on here;
-guard is being let down on her part
-guard is being let down on your part
-you are driven/intense guy to her (or seem that way)
- 'wait a second i'm hot why isn't he interested in me?'

Not too friendly but small jokes. Very subtle teasing is a good tester of where she is at.

You do want to begin to joke with her early, but make yourself intense and somewhat disinterested. So don't go all in trying to have conversation and date setup in one second. Be calm in that sense. You have to be a little stern too or it can enter friendzone area.

Once you have had a few meetings see how she warms up or not. where she is at etc. If you come in all wrong it can cost you.

That said I have seen a few that go right in whip it out.. and own it and the girl just says 'yes' ..if you do that, you gotta be okay with getting shot down - know this move has a low percentage of payoff ..but the payoff is a wet dick so that might be okay here. I and many before me have closed many a deal with that go for it 'hey Im into you' move, but more often than not I had alcohol in me and lowered my anxiety.. even then still the results are iffy in that scenario.

so not to be all stalkerish here but you got to pre plan before you act. think about what past the first move. Maybe this is a f -it moment and go for it.. You have to feel those moments out.

I played the laid back guy on this shy girl one time.. and lost to more aggressive movers. Sometimes I laid back and did the study thing or the disinterested intense guy thing and that worked. I would say the intense disinterested guy played better for me overall. But picking your spots is up to you and you have to pick your spots for sure. Take a moment to study moments and work these moves at the right moment.

but dont leave it doing nothing. that is the worst. There is the girl in my italian class from 1999 I am still pissed at myself about. I never said a word to her. Yeah I'm married and all that ..great lady etc but I still think about the one that I didnt even try to talk to. those are the worst. Its been 15 years since then and you dont want it to be 2029 thinking that you 'should have'