What's worked to make your marriage/relationship successful?

Laughing my ass off...I believe my parents did the 2nd to last one actually.

 

I live and work part time with my gf. I find it helpful that we spend some time away from each other at least twice a week so we both can have our own space. Being together 24/7 will kill the relationship and drive each other crazy

 

Reading this thread makes me sad.

Have been married for 2 years and we had a few fights...last one being in february. and we have been trying to resolve (staying at separate places) it but things have gotten so bad but here's the kicker. i now have confirmation that she has been having an emotional affair for sure and possibly physical (she spend the night at his house).

not sure what to do. going to counseling today. i feel devastated.

 

That sounds really rough. Sorry you're going through that. Hopefully someone here has some helpful words because I don't; all I can say is that I'm sorry to hear this and I hope you can come out of this in better shape.

 

****, man. Sorry to hear this. Any kids?

 

That really sucks. Very sorry to hear about that. I seriously wish you the best of luck.

 

Thanks guys. All I can do is pray at this point.
I am not sure if I can stay in the relationship knowing how much she has fallen for this guy..and ESPECIALLY if she has done anything physical. even kissing.

 

That's a god awful feeling, I hope you don't have any kids with her. Do you have proof she's having an affair? I mean your probably right if your instincts are telling you that.

I think in most marriages the spark dissipates after a year or 2 and partners can easily stray if they allow themselves to. You have to find those moments where your starting to find attraction to someone else and then just cut it off because you made a decision to stay faithful, unfortunately it doesn't seem like your wife has done that.

Best of luck to you and I hope you find a way out of this mess.

 

No kids. Yup I should have asked her to cut off the friendship she was developing with this guy (a patient of hers from work). and with me being busy with work and school I guess she fell for him.

There's a email she draft that I saw that pretty much sealed the deal.
And of course the secret texting. And over the weekend I saw them out and about 2-3 times with her staying over at his place after being a plus 1 to a wedding.

 

1. Communication (listen to her even if its boring)
2. Balanced (Money, compromising)
3. Stay healthy and fit together (maitain attraveness to one another, energy boost)

 

My heart is wrenching for you man, very sorry you're going through this. All the clutchfans fellas here support you.

 

Praying is not gonna help you homeboy.

Next time she you see her, pound her so hart she'll forget the other dude.

 

I am sure this is a hard pill to swallow for anybody but sometimes, you have to cut your loses and move on. Ask yourself this, if she decides to do everything you want her to do right now, do you think you will be able to trust her again? If the answer is no, I think you 2 will be better off away from each other.

 

go to swing parties..

 

sorry buddy, its time to move on....at least you don't have any kids, focus on improving yourself and learn from the mistakes

 

sweet jesus that's terrible.

Why don't yall live together?

 

Do you mind sharing things that have NOT worked in your relationship? Sometimes analyzing what went wrong is just as good as knowing what makes relationships work.

 

I would've kicked her to the curb, I would not be able to trust someone after all that. More so after all you know.

 

Communication and letting **** go. Your pride is nowhere near as important as your relationship.

 

This is exactly right. My first marriage is just like what Sajan is describing. I didn't want it to end, but resolved to learn the lessons of my mistakes and make my next relationship fruitful. It's easy to point at the other person's mistakes, but that's not what's going to help you going forward. Even in a relationship where it's the other person doing the stereotypically awful stuff, there are things Sajan can learn that will help him going forward.

Sajan,

Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I don't post here nearly as much as I used to or even really lurk any more, but this is an awful time for you and maybe speaking with someone who has been through it before and isn't bitter can help. I do think it's honorable that you are still trying to make it work despite her infidelity.