Not enough tequila to hurt anybody

[VooDooPope]

It all started with a friend making the statement, "Well I don't think you have enough tequila to hurt anybody."

After that a few calls when out to get a game of poker together. We ended up with 6 players, 2 half gallons of rum, a couple cases of beer, 1/2 of a fifth of Porfidio single barrel tequila, and a bottle of Z Tequila respazado. Numerous herbal jazz cigarettes were consumed during the evening and a couple wife's and girl girlfriends were also in attendance.

We started doing shots before we started playing poker and everyone also had their drink of choice, mine being captain and diet mixed 50/50. Poker started at 9pm and ended about 4 am. Three $20 tournaments were played and I was in the money in all three despite being completely trashed by the end of the second.

All of the Tequila was gone and almost everyone had left when we started shooting some pool, talking ****, etc. That's when things went south. Somehow I apparently made my wife upset and she went to bed. A good friend of mine, who has a habit of wanting to cut cards for money (he had already lost his wife to me on a previous occasion) got pissy and mouthed off, "well at least my wife isn't going to bed mad, so suck on that bitch."

I ran downstairs to see if she was mad at me but she was already sleeping (or pretending to) so I ran back up stairs to finish the argument.

Now for a little back story... I had previously caught this friends wife kissing another mutual friend of ours at a party but never told anyone. She had also gotten drunk and made out with another friends wife to the point that that friends wife calls her "that girl whose pu$$y tastes like ****." Then another time at the beach she gets drunk and sleeps with the guy whose while she had fooled around with previously.

Up until this moment I had kept all of this to myself and while I contemplated telling my friend about his wife's exploits I figured he might know about them and that's just the way they rolled. I guess the "suck on that, bitch" got to me so I let him have it.

So they are both standing there and he's standing there lining up a shot on the pool table and I give him the... "Well **** at least my wife isn't screwing guys at the beach when I'm not around, so tell me ****, when %%%%% blows a load on #####'s face does it go in the right eye or the left eye? Suck on that, Bitch!"

They both just stood there shocked. I walked downstairs and made another drink and they left right after that. I feel horrible and know I should have kept my mouth shut but being called out in my own house pissed me off. The 8-10 tequila shots and countless mixed drinks impaired my judgment and if they remember what was said then I've done damage to a friendship I've had for 20+ years.

I'm going with the I don't remember anything after 4 am excuse and this happened around 5 or so in the morning. I called and left a voicemail that said, "I know the evening ended on an nasty note but I don't remember what happened. I want to apologize for anything that may have been said or that happened."

So as you can see... we did have enough tequila to hurt somebody.

[boomboom]

zomgwaffles...there was a specific point in your story where things should have taken a left turn and ended in some kinky sexual adventures (wives and gf's included, obviously) good enough for Penthouse Letters...but you guys had to go and screw it up by dropping four-letter bombs on each other and starting a pissing match.

Back to work...I guess.




:D

[shastarocket]

crazy story man, but i don;t think you did anything wrong. No way in hell a man has to stand up to that in his own house. Plus, its better that your friend knows the truth about his wife. Maybe if it was one or two slip ups, it would be ok, but she friggen did some ridiculous stuff!

[rhadamanthus]

I'd like to start a petition for a new series:

"Monday afternoon storytime with VooDooPope"


mlwoo fall in a faint.


Great story.

[moestavern19]

I'd like to start a petition for a new series:

"Monday afternoon storytime with VooDooPope"


mlwoo fall in a faint.


Great story.

I second this.

I also demote Fatty to "Contributing author"

[stipendlax]

You did the right thing.

Went about the wrong way (the funny way), but the right thing nonetheless.

[Master Baiter]

Any time someone would tell my wife "suck on that bitch" one of three things is going to happen.

1. They are going to the hospital.
2. I'm going to the hospital trying to make sure #1 happens.
3. All of the above.

[Christopher]

VooDooPope, champ, you needed to pull you head in.


I mean, you are all drunk and in that type of situation of you and your mates are not all trying to verbally destroy each other, something is wrong anyway.

He had a friendly go at you and you took it too far.


But then again, you were snotted too, so don't worry to much about it.

[SuperBeeKay]

lol that's funny. Would have been funnier if each man was given a weapon

[Franchise3]

Any time someone would tell my wife "suck on that bitch" one of three things is going to happen.

1. They are going to the hospital.
2. I'm going to the hospital trying to make sure #1 happens.
3. All of the above.

I need you to deliver a message to your wife for me. Tell her, "Suck on that, bitch." Don't worry, she'll know what it means.

[SwoLy-D]

WHOA. Somehow, I have to hurry home right now. :eek:

Very interesting story, sir. I have NEVER gotten in a "judgment impaired by Tequila" argument, so I won't know how to react, but you probably messed that friendship up. :) If your friend doesn't make a big deal out of it, I guess just go up to him and say: "Shiiiieeeeeeeettt... we were drunk that time, huh?!?!?" ;) Any time someone would tell my wife "suck on that bitch" one of three things is going to happen.

1. They are going to the hospital.
2. I'm going to the hospital trying to make sure #1 happens.
3. All of the above.Whew. Good thing all I do is try to correct people. ;)

[Rashmon]

Maybe you can still get a cheapie from his wife...

[moestavern19]

Any time someone would tell my wife "suck on that bitch" one of three things is going to happen.

1. They are going to the hospital.
2. I'm going to the hospital trying to make sure #1 happens.
3. All of the above.


I think the friend told VooDooPope to "suck on it bitch"

VDP, being in his intoxicated state realized he had been served on his own home turf, and could not stand for that.

So he pulled out the ultimate trump card and totally owned those people.

Anyway, sounds like a lot of stuff going on in this story, chicks making out and such.

Sounds hot.

[Grandpappy]

Any time someone would tell my wife "suck on that bitch" one of three things is going to happen.

1. They are going to the hospital.
2. I'm going to the hospital trying to make sure #1 happens.
3. All of the above.
I'm pretty sure he was directing that at his friend, who had shot him that one earlier in the story.

[Lady_Di]

Maybe you just got tired of keeping his wife's exploits a secret...

Why should your friendship be damaged if it's wife's fault for doing those things? He should be mad at her, not you.

[CrazyDave]

<strike>Whoa, you posted it.

Waits for fallout, knowing all involved. Holy Royal Flush, Batman!

I was gonna say I want credit in the liner notes when it gets published for suggesting this fiasco make it to Clutchfans, but knowing the whole sordid tale and seeing it in print, I'm quite sure I want absolutely no credit whatsoever. Besides, I suggested he post it to the "regrets" thread. Makes my drunken badgering of Robert Horry look very very tame. Upon re-inspection, it obviously deserved its own thread.

Did. Not. Contribute. Luckily was out of town for this round of VoodooPope Poker and Tequila. *Gets his helmet out and seeks shelter* </strike>

I am not affiliated with this. I am crazydave, and I did not approve this message.

[knote32]

Nice work man, You were right to call him out......
I understand

[DaDakota]

Yeah,

I think you took it to a whole nuther level...he was just razzing you about your wife going to bed mad.

You probably just turned his world upside down.

Not only that, now that he found out, he is not going to trust you any longer as a friend because you didn't tell him before, which a true friend would have...but oh well, at least you were in the money.

DD

[JuanValdez]

What you did is so far worse than what your friend said to start it. I'd be more concerned with your friend's relationship with his wife than with you. You were just a messenger, so I can see that relationship getting patched up. For the marriage though, you probably can't get the toothpaste back in the tube. Not that you're the one who committed the infidelity in the first place.

Of course, it could be argued that you should have told your friend what his wife was doing when she did it.

[Master Baiter]

I think the friend told VooDooPope to "suck on it bitch"

VDP, being in his intoxicated state realized he had been served on his own home turf, and could not stand for that.

So he pulled out the ultimate trump card and totally owned those people.

Anyway, sounds like a lot of stuff going on in this story, chicks making out and such.

Sounds hot.
I read it wrong, you are right. In that case I wouldn't have been nearly as pissed.

Franchise3,

http://twothirds.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/middle_finger.jpg

[VooDooPope]

Yeah,

I think you took it to a whole nuther level...he was just razzing you about your wife going to bed mad.

You probably just turned his world upside down.

Not only that, now that he found out, he is not going to trust you any longer as a friend because you didn't tell him before, which a true friend would have...but oh well, at least you were in the money.

DD

I know he already knew about his wife and the other wife.

Believe me I thought about telling him about the other 2 times but without hard proof it would have been my word against hers and our friendship would have been damaged then.

I never would have played that card had he not brought up my wife and then gone with the "suck on that bitch! (directed at me)"

Good thing there was mucho tequila involved so we can pretend it never happened.

[MoBalls]

Wow...........if the guy didnt know, he probably would have found out later. Too bad you guys were both drunk when he did find out. That car ride home must have been a crazy one.

[DaDakota]

Good thing there was mucho tequila involved so we can pretend it never happened.

I would be seriously surprised if that happens.......have another buddy call him to see if he answers....

My guess is you are being ignored.

DD

[Mr. Mooch]

Well, her junk did allegedly taste putrid. Don't forget about that.

[CrazyDave]

Sorry you're in that boat, VDP, I feel for ya. Lady Di is kinda right though, that was quite a burden. Maybe Tequila brought it out in a spiteful moment, and yeah, maybe something should have been said before... but for those that don't get it or won't admit such a thing... That's a hard thing to do. Not just one friend involved, people. Several. VDP did what he thought was right for the situation... try not to be the one to have to hurt everyone. They put him in this boat. People think they can mess around and keep that stuff a secret, and even with someone like VDP trying not to let everyone get hurt, it came out eventually... and would have come out eventually one way or another, one source or another. Again, was not a one time thing.

And look, it backfired. He regrets it happening. Probably won't be the same, but the burden is [mostly] off now, and you and dude will find a way to get over it eventually. Oh sure, the "which eye" part is a bit "stiff" [no pun intended] but it's tequila... what can you do? Will his situation be the same? No, but it already wasn't what dude thought it was, and now he knows at least some of that. That's for the best, in my opinion.

I guess what I'm saying is, can't hate on VDP for keeping the secrets AND spilling the beans. Sure, timing is everything, but he did what he thought was best, and that devil TEQUILA just wouldn't let it go any longer.

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[plcmts17]

Good thing there was mucho tequila involved so we can pretend it never happened.

That's like taking a kick to the nuts and pretending it never happened. I'm pretty sure whether I was extremely drunk or not I would remember something like that.

[Lynus302]

Dude.

That's awesome.

[no_answer]

Is it friday? :)

[Yonkers]

Damn, that's some draw-mah.

[SWTsig]

this thread is allsome

[dntrwl]

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/882/bateman5iw0.jpg

Now you see kids, if this man was say, smoking pot instead, he wouldn't have said such a mean thing.

[LonghornFan]

Why is Fatty allowed to have two separate accounts here?

[rimrocker]

A good friend of mine, who has a habit of wanting to cut cards for money (he had already lost his wife to me on a previous occasion)...

This needs elaboration.

[rocketsjudoka]

That is why you don't listen to drunk logic.

[Kam]

VooDooPope Monday afternoon stories rule!


Waaaaaaaaaaay better than mlwoo f.a.s.t.

[bladeage]

I agree with rimrocker. Sounds like that needs its own thread. who cares about your friend, I wanna hear about someone losing their wife to you.

[SWTsig]

more of the girl-on-girl action please

[Invisible Fan]

She had also gotten drunk and made out with another friends wife to the point that that friends wife calls her "that girl whose pu$$y tastes like ****."

Apparently, there are some bitches one shouldn't suck on.

[CrazyDave]

...that friends wife calls her "that girl whose pu$$y tastes like ****." Then another time at the beach she gets drunk and sleeps with the guy whose [wife]while she had fooled around with previously.

And.... Classy... ftw.... When, and around who, does THAT come up? Nevemind, I know too much already. Plus , you'd think being known as THAT, the hubby would steer clear. Paybacks are a bitch I guess. Ewww.

[eveluvsrox]

lol that's funny. Would have been funnier if each man was given a weapon


and youre an idiot

[dsnow23]

This needs elaboration.

Ditto. What does that mean?

[droxford]

Wow! What a crazy story! Please follow up! Has your buddy called you back?

[ima_drummer2k]

Whoa, how did I miss this thread the first time. Awesome story!

I can't believe there hasn't been a Seinfeld "jerkstore/I slept with your wife" reference yet.

[VooDooPope]

Wow! What a crazy story! Please follow up! Has your buddy called you back?

Nope but I'm not pressing the issue. I'll talk to his older brother who is also a friend to see if he's mentioned it to him. I'm going to let the whole thing blow over and see if it comes up before or at my annual christmas party in a couple weeks.

[FranchiseBlade]

It seems to me the biggest issue isn't that you shamed him after he said that about your wife, it's that you may have forced the issue of him and his wife. They may or may not have been ready to tackle that issue, but now that it's out there, they can't bndle it back up and hide it away.

Maybe it's for the better that they actually deal with it even if it wasn't brought up in an ideal manner. However, no matter how good of friends you guys are, he is probably most focused and concerned with how to deal with his marriage. That his a huge issue, and even if he is mad, sad, or anything else with you, it's going to pale in comparison to dealing with his everyday living situation, and spouse.

[Harrisment]

'm going to let the whole thing blow over and see if it comes up before or at my annual christmas party in a couple weeks.

I must get an invite to this party just to see how this turns out.

[mlwoo]

I had a similar deal with my roomate freshman year in college. His girlfriend always stayed in our dorm room pretty much every night.

I didn't like it.

One night I came home drunk and she was there and checked my email. He starts bitching about it being bright.

"This is annoying?!!!! You're $&@#%*# girlfriend staying in our $*%# room every night is $*#$%* annoying!"

I think "awkward" would be the correct word to describe the next morning.

[kaleidosky]

I had a similar deal with my roomate freshman year in college. His girlfriend always stayed in our dorm room pretty much every night.

I didn't like it.

One night I came home drunk and she was there and checked my email. He starts bitching about it being bright.

"This is annoying?!!!! You're $&@#%*# girlfriend staying in our $*%# room every night is $*#$%* annoying!"

I think "awkward" would be the correct word to describe the next morning.

doesn't seem too similar at all.. or if it's similar, it's on 1/100th the scale..

[fadeaway]

doesn't seem too similar at all.. or if it's similar, it's on 1/100th the scale..

Yeah, that story was terrible.

[MadMax]

If you had just stuck with the Christmas Ale, as I suggested, this whole mess could have been avoided.

[Angkor Wat]

lol seems like everyone uses the "i was drunk, i don't remember anything" excuse. first the lady that had sex at the football game in the bathroom and now that story. any story that ends with a "i was drunk and don't remember a thing" will always be good. :D

[KingCheetah]

It all started with a friend making the statement, "Well I don't think you have enough tequila to hurt anybody."
_______

How many tragedies start with this simple phrase ?

[MadMax]

It all started with a friend making the statement, "Well I don't think you have enough tequila to hurt anybody."
_______

How many tragedies start with this simple phrase ?

who can forget?

http://edtech2.boisestate.edu/lockwoodm/WorldWar/images/FranzFerdinand.JPG

[DudeWah]

I had a similar deal with my roomate freshman year in college. His girlfriend always stayed in our dorm room pretty much every night.

I didn't like it.

One night I came home drunk and she was there and checked my email. He starts bitching about it being bright.

"This is annoying?!!!! You're $&@#%*# girlfriend staying in our $*%# room every night is $*#$%* annoying!"

I think "awkward" would be the correct word to describe the next morning.
<br>
Terrible cry for attention...

[mlwoo]

Sorry for interrupting.

[gifford1967]

If you had just stuck with the Christmas Ale, as I suggested, this whole mess could have been avoided.

This made me laugh.

[CrazyDave]

If you had just stuck with the Christmas Ale, as I suggested, this whole mess could have been avoided.

Vdp doessnt often drink beer ... But when he does....

Seriously though, he did say there was plenty at the game, but I doubt it was Christmas Ale... Though I may get some for the party this year just because your op made it sound worthwhile... And because maybe easy on the agave could be in order this time, eh?