[advice] unwanted houseguest

[OmegaSupreme]

several nights ago, i went to have a couple of drinks at a bar after getting off from work. i run into a friend that was having crazy problems with his significant other and he got kicked out the house. being a friends and a little tipsy, i did the normal...

"it'll be ok."
"everything will work out for the both of you."
and... "if you need a place to stay for a couple of nights, you can stay at my place."

well, unexpectedly the dude calls me at 9:00 the next day studdering and stuff saying that he'd like to take me up on my offer. once we hang up, i'm like "damn." i enjoy my personal time and privacy, but he's a friend so what the hell.

it's been two nights that he's been over now and i'm a little annoyed already.

i've cooked dinner once and he cooked the other time. he made some kinda authentic mexican dish that was pretty damn good. when he washed the dishes after i cooked, he pretty much just dips them in water and puts them in the dish drying wire thingee. now when i get a glass of water there's grease splotches on top of the water. when i eat a bowl of cereal, there's a piece of dried up pasta stuck to the bottom of the bowl from the previous night. ugh. :(

after getting off of work and coming home last night, i noticed my dvd player was on and my secret drawer that has... ummmm... "special" dvds in it was slightly open. not cool man.

i let the dude sleep in my bed and i sleep on the couch. just being nice and i want the room with the flat screen. so whenever i wake up he immediately wants to come in and shoot the schit talking about what his significant other , what he's going to do today, and just random stuff that's really too deep for the morning. i'm thinking to myself, "man... i just woke up, please stfu." i like my cup of oj and a cigarette by myself when i first wake up. and for some reason the guy lights to cough up his lungs for half a hour after waking up. argh! lozenge?

when i went to go use the bathroom this morning and lifted up the toilet lid, well... i have one of those things in the tank that makes the water blue. we also had corn last night. 'nuff said. disgusting.

last night and this morning... just the way that he was talking, i could tell that he was hinting at staying a tad bit longer.

http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb179/tigercranestyle/DarthVader.jpg

i really don't want to stay up late and then wake up talking about the signifcant other or wake up to corn. how do i politely make my feelings felt?

[macalu]

LOL...dude, you are fu(ked!


you still coming to play tomorrow though, right?

[thadeus]

Man, that sucks. You're gonna have to just be direct with him because it sounds like he's desperate. Just be like, "I like you and all, but I really need to have my own space and I'm not looking for a room mate, so here, take this bag of corn, and return home."

[Falcons Talon]

Have a movie night with him...Watch "You, Me, and Dupree".

[macalu]

i never understood why it's so hard to show a bit of respect and appreciation when someone let's you into their home for free.

whenever i stay over someone's place, i always make an effort to keep everything the way it was or better. as a guest, the least you can do is clean up after yourself.

[rrj_gamz]

Pwned...

Well, it is nice of you to do this, but I gotta say that I wouldn't do this..I like my privacy too much and I have ocd tendancies and I'd have to do everything myself, but for two, so screw that...

You could ask him to leave after a week...that's plenty to get his crap together...Honestly, just tell him how it is and he'll get it...

[DonnyMost]

the image of you finding a corn-ridden floater in the john and then screaming "NoooooOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" is forever burned into my mind...

[meh]

Man, that sucks. You're gonna have to just be direct with him because it sounds like he's desperate. Just be like, "I like you and all, but I really need to have my own space and I'm not looking for a room mate, so here, take this bag of corn, and return home."

I agree. Trying to drop "hints" might make things even worse. I know it sucks for him and may strain on your friendship. But if he continues to stay it'll only make things worse. Better end it right now before you snap and say/do something you'll regret.

[DonkeyMagic]

the image of you finding a corn-ridden floater in the john and then screaming "NoooooOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" is forever burned into my mind...

me too. there goes my friday




But give him a big pep talk like..."go over there right now and beg for her back. You cant just quit when things get hard...etc.etc"

Lay it on pretty thick. Its a deciding momemt in life, now or never, man up nancy boy...that kind of stuff.

worth a shot at least.

[Ace]

Personally, I would always be open to letting people stay over... but then again I understand that people need their space. For example, I would not like someone staying in my room with me or something be it on the couch/floor/whatever. I need my own room.

Of course he is going to want some attention of some sort, the guy is having problems. No wonder he is going to talk and talk. You just have to try and be patient - for a while. As long as you are giving him what is reasonable as a friend then that's cool. Don't let him take advantage. Is he trying to sort something out?

How good a friend is he? I would at least talk to him and just tell him that you like the place a certain way. You're the boss.

[TeamUSA]

:D I think you're just ooooover-reacting..

[Nice Rollin]

damn, that sucks. He was in your secret porno hiding place and everything...does he have a job or anything, or is he at your crib all day???

The same thing happened to my cousin about a year ago. His guest had the A/C running full blast during the day. On top of that he used to sit out on the porch to smoke, leaving the door open. He was going in an out a lot...The light bill shot up pretty high. The guy threw in some money, but it wasnt nearly enough. He didnt have a job or any source of income. I dont even think he was looking for one...

I believe it went on for three weeks. Eventually it got out of hand and my cousin made up some story saying he received an email from the main office of the apartment complex with a reminder that he could have guests, but he couldnt have anyone else living there. It was a little easy for him to use the excuse since he lived across from the office...His friend bought it and moved out two days later...

[WWR]

I will kill him and hide the body for you for only $5,000.

[GRENDAL]

For future reference, never make offers like that because people will take you up on them.

As for your situation now, you'll just have to be direct. If you don't want to kick him, at least tell him you don't want him going through your stuff and making a mess, I can't believe he did something like that to begin with.

[Rocket River]

Have a movie night with him...Watch "You, Me, and Dupree".


This is Fricking Hilarious

He probably would spend the time talking about how hudson makes him miss his girl and continue to be oblivious

Rocket river

[dskillz]

It is simple, just ask the dude how long he plans on staying. You probably should have had that conversation before he moved in, or right after. Being honest in that situation upfront can ease issues later.

At this point, I would steer conversations about his woman to them getting back together or his long-term ideas on his future. He will get the hint that he is going to have to deal with his problems at home.

I have to echo what others are saying, how good of a friend is this? Even my brother isn't going to be snooping around and looking at my pizorn.

[University Blue]

Simple dimple: make a move on him.


If you want to take the easy way OUT, buy gay porno and put it in your "special collection."

[Nice Rollin]

another good one...say you're going on vacation in a couple of days and eventually you cant stay here...

or...my parents/relatives are coming to visit me.

[pirc1]

Here, this should help you. Post this on your door.

http://www.al-gore-2004.org/goretoons/defacto2.jpg

[Rocket River]

Simple.
Tell him you will be having OTHER COMPANY and you need some alone time.
He will have to find someone else to mooch on . .er. . somewhere else to stay

Do this like 3 nights in a row if necessary
usually . .. they get the point
Esp when they come by the next day all their sh*t is packed up neatly.
If they ask . .just say you was cleaning up for your OTHER COMPANY

if that subtle is too much . . then you bring the hammer

Rocket River

[Xerobull]

Omega, I think you did the right thing going out on a limb and helping out your friend. Honestly, there aren't enough unselfish people out there these days. Applaud yourself for your character. If I ever meet you at some CF.net gathering, I'll buy you a drink. Well, I'll buy you two, because I usually buy everyone at least one drink. :)

However, you really should have set some rules right off the bat. But that's water under the bridge now. Put your foot down. If you want him out, then so be it. He will respect you in the long run for first your kindness, then your honesty.

[macalu]

Simple dimple: make a move on him.


If you want to take the easy way OUT, buy gay porno and put it in your "special collection."

this is funny...only b/c of what i didn't know back then.

[WildSweet&Cool]

me too. there goes my friday

But give him a big pep talk like..."go over there right now and beg for her back....

Actually, he's probably referring to a [size=3]"him"[size] not a her. I think these guys are playing for the other team (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Sorry OmegaSupreme. You're hosed. When you offered for a friend to stay at your place, you were basically saying "I'm willing to put up with your annoying nuances indefinitely."

Out of the clear blue, put a smile on your face, look at your friend, and say, "I gotta tell ya, David (or whatever). I love ya. I consider you one of my great friends. But two days into this, you're already drivin' me crazy. How's the forecast going on your next place-of-stay?"

IMPORTANT: If he asks you what specifically is driving you crazy, do not directly answer. That's a trap (possibly unintential). If he says, "what things am I doing that are driving you crazy?" Respond, "I don't want to get into petty specifics. Just overall, I can tell ya this ain't gonna be a long-term thing." Again - do NOT list off the things he's doing that are annoying you.

[pugsly8422]

If you want to take the easy way OUT, buy gay porno and put it in your "special collection."

This had (and still has) me ROLLING!!! Best idea so far!!

Pugs

[Harrisment]

You just gotta be honest and tell him that you want him gone. But don't take my advice. I broke up with a girl over a month ago and she still hasn't moved out. :mad:

[macalu]

You just gotta be honest and tell him that you want him gone. But don't take my advice. I broke up with a girl over a month ago and she still hasn't moved out. :mad:

ouch! didn't you just have a break up 6 months or so ago?

[DonkeyMagic]

Actually, he's probably referring to a [size=3]"him"[size] not a her. I think these guys are playing for the other team (not that there's anything wrong with that).

ooohhhhhh :o

well good luck...{backs away slowly}

[Rashmon]

You're gonna need a dark night, a blunt object, a shovel, a bag of lime, ...

[JuanValdez]

Simple dimple: make a move on him.


If you want to take the easy way OUT, buy gay porno and put it in your "special collection."

I don't think that's going to work with this guy. I was wondering if the friend might be angling for it in the first place.

[WildSweet&Cool]

I don't think that's going to work with this guy. I was wondering if the friend might be angling for it in the first place.

See my post :)

[Harrisment]

ouch! didn't you just have a break up 6 months or so ago?

Naa, I got divorced like a year ago. Then started dating another girl, and she moved in around March. Well I broke up with her in late June, but she's not moving out until the 2nd week in August. 2 more weeks!

And seriously those gay porn suggestions had me laughing, only because most people here know that OS actually is homosexual.

(obligatory not that there's anything wrong with that)

[OmegaSupreme]

Omega, I think you did the right thing going out on a limb and helping out your friend. Honestly, there aren't enough unselfish people out there these days. Applaud yourself for your character. If I ever meet you at some CF.net gathering, I'll buy you a drink. Well, I'll buy you two, because I usually buy everyone at least one drink. :)

However, you really should have set some rules right off the bat. But that's water under the bridge now. Put your foot down. If you want him out, then so be it. He will respect you in the long run for first your kindness, then your honesty.

'preciate that, man. :)

yeah... i don't know how to break the news. i'll probably give him another two or three days. just through the weekend maybe. if i still don't have the guts to tell him... well... i know that our complex has a strict policy about guests staying for a certain amount of time. i should put a note on the door explaining the policy and see what happens. sounds a bit manipulative though. don't really want to be an ahole.

i got home yesterday after a rough day at work and wanted a glass of white wine that i had. it magically disappeared out of the fridge. i had to go right back out to krogers and buy another. this morning i got up get some honey bunches of oats and he left the box open from yesterday morning. i know it somes like i'm picky or something, but combining it with the wine, blue corn, my pr0n stash, the somewhat dirty/clean dishes, throat-clearing, and other stuff... it's irritating.

he's there when i wake up and when i get home from work. he has no job at the moment (though he didn't mention an interview sometime soon). he mentioned that he has family in port arthur. man... i don't know. he spends all day in the library reading.

i can't mention the thing about the dishes and the poo because anyway i bring it up, it'll sound like i'm calling him dirty. :o

Naa, I got divorced like a year ago. Then started dating another girl, and she moved in around March. Well I broke up with her in late June, but she's not moving out until the 2nd week in August. 2 more weeks!

And seriously those gay porn suggestions had me laughing, only because most people here know that OS actually is homosexual.

(obligatory not that there's anything wrong with that)

and for the two folks that i work with that read this board in the afternoons... well... please keep it on here. i prefer to not have folks approach me about this at work. thx.

[swilkins]

Tell him to get the F#ck out!!!

Sincerely,
Doyle Hargraves

[Dave2000]

and for the two folks that i work with that read this board in the afternoons... well... please keep it on here. i prefer to not have folks approach me about this at work. thx.

understood, not a prob yo :)

as far as the situation, its better just to flat out saying it instead of dropping hints cause from my personal experience, its not cool to go around it then just talk about the situation

[University Blue]

And seriously those gay porn suggestions had me laughing, only because most people here know that OS actually is homosexual.

(obligatory not that there's anything wrong with that)
:eek: I didn't know Omega Supreme was gay. Wouldn't "Star Scream" be a better moniker? :cool:


In that case, simple dimple...make a move on him.

[First Lady]

Do you need one of us to come over and pretend to be from the management and tell you (in front of him) that you can't have any guests for longer than a week?

[Cook1ez]

Great to hear you're kind hearted. As for your friend. You should tell him what bothers you,from the stuff he does,in a respectful manner. "no offense,but listen.." start off with that i guess.
If you dont mind him staying at your place,then tell him what bothers you and what doesnt. As for his relationship issues,if you really dont want to hear it...tell him that you dont. Also tell him he has to toughen up and face this...talk to the woman and not to you.

Best of luck.

[Pole]

Now's the perfect time to whip out: "It's not you, it's me."

[ryan17wagner]

IS HIS NAME DUPREE!!

[OmegaSupreme]

...as far as the situation, its better just to flat out saying it instead of dropping hints cause from my personal experience, its not cool to go around it then just talk about the situation

yeah... i know. just venting i guess.

i called from work earlier today and asked if he talked to the other. there was kind of a hesitation and then a "no". when i got home, i guess he could tell that i needed some space, so he went to go visit another friend in the complex.

i'd take firstlady's offer, but it would seem too weird. like i say, i'd go the route of printing out some kinda official-looking form like it's from the leasing office and put it on the door knocker thingee for him to find (thought about it several times today), but i dunno.

just don't have the guts. dude is genuinely heartbroken, but can't stand anymore suprises under the lid (he brought a plate of food from another friend's place that included okra... with the seeds). :o :mad: :( i guess i'll just give him another couple of days (through the weekend) and then he has to check other options or something... which means that i have to break the news tomorrow.

btw, thx cook1ez.

[Gummi Clutch]

Ive been in this situation before and it did not end well.
Dude hung out, rode my bike to his job, ate my food, and drank my beer. But hey no problem. Im helping dude out.
I had a huge place so it wasnt like he was couch crashing, dude had his own furnished bedroom. All I asked in return is that he his share of the house hold chores. Cleaning the restroom, doing laundry, vaccuming, etc. But he insisted he picked up after himself, and felt that was enough. Of course 'picking up after himself' included the likes of half clean dishes and ring around the toliet like you mention. I like my place to be nice and neat, especially since I also just got a new gf I was trying to *ahem* 'impress'. I realized that this just wasnt going to work. I tried dropping subtle hints, but dude just wouldnt listen. Clearly his standard of living was just different than mine, I couldnt live with a slob like him, and he thought that I was anal.
Finally one day dude came home from work while I had been hanging out with another friend on a Friday night. We had been drinking heavily and I was smashed. I just went off on him. Sadly it was the booze talking, but I had really had it up to the point where I just had to let it out. Dude got mad, and left the following day. And coincidently my bike got 'stolen' too.
It sucks cause we were good friends before the move in, we tried to talk and patch things up, and dude said I was lucky he didnt punch me in the face during my drunk rant. Needless to say I went on to live happily ever after w my new gf, and dude is still somewhat of a bum.
If I were you I would take the advice of 'getting ready for other company'. I think these things are best settled quickly with no leverage.

[dskillz]

So, what happened?

I need an update!!!!!!!!!

[swilkins]

So, what happened?

I need an update!!!!!!!!!

You have no life is your update.









;)

[dskillz]

You have no life is your update.









;)


With your post count, I don't think you should be pulling the 'no life' card.. :cool:

[rrj_gamz]

Ok, I'm a little gossipy so yeah, update us...

[benchmoochie]

I'd wash your sheets if I were you.

[WildSweet&Cool]

With your post count, I don't think you should be pulling the 'no life' card.. :cool:

Good one!

[swilkins]

With your post count, I don't think you should be pulling the 'no life' card.. :cool:

Touché dskillz, Touché

:cool: