(Suggestions) Cleansing Out The Colon

[finalsbound]

Has anyone done a cleansing diet or fast for a 1-3 week span that had positive results? I've been feeling a little sluggish lately as I've been stressed out and eating badly, and I'm determined to go through with some kind of diet that flushes out the system. I figure after finals I'll be at just the right place in the month to do this (after school lets out, before Christmas), and I'll be able to handle pooping 15 times a day. I did an 8 day-long juice fast last year and it really revitalized me, and I was planning on doing it again, but lately I've been hearing nonstop about a "lemonade diet."

Let's see...4 separate people I know have been telling me lately about this diet where you only drink water and a concoction of lemonade and cayenne pepper, and it's supposed to keep you feeling full for as long as you stay on the "cleanse." I'd seriously doubt it if it wasn't for the fact that my friend just got through doing this for 14 days and she seems incredibly more upbeat and energetic than I've ever seen her, and she lost 10 lbs in that span. What I'm really interested in is this whole "re-energizing" thing. I've tried incorporating more water into what I eat and eating healthy, but it seems like it's always an uphill/downhill battle.

Also, I'd rather not have 30 pounds of compacted **** in my colon when I die. I don't know about this...has anyone heard of this lemonade diet? If someone on here had tried or knows someone who's tried this, I'm interested in hearing how it went.

[ClutchCityReturns]

Girls poop?

Girls have colons?

:(

[BenignDMD]

I heard they fart too

[MR. MEOWGI]

Wow. My college "diet" was Pearl beer and tacos. It did clear out my colon a few times. This was during the grunge years, so nobody was upbeat. I really don't care for upbeat people.

[Rashmon]

Talk to Baqui...

[Burzmali]

Has anyone done a cleansing diet or fast for a 1-3 week span that had positive results? I've been feeling a little sluggish lately as I've been stressed out and eating badly, and I'm determined to go through with some kind of diet that flushes out the system. I figure after finals I'll be at just the right place in the month to do this (after school lets out, before Christmas), and I'll be able to handle pooping 15 times a day. I did an 8 day-long juice fast last year and it really revitalized me, and I was planning on doing it again, but lately I've been hearing nonstop about a "lemonade diet."

There is no such thing as a diet that "flushes out the system" in the manner which you have in mind. If anything, a juice diet would be the opposite of what is healthy for the colon. Increase your intake of dietary fiber; that would be the most beneficial dietary change you can make for your digestive system.

Let's see...4 separate people I know have been telling me lately about this diet where you only drink water and a concoction of lemonade and cayenne pepper, and it's supposed to keep you feeling full for as long as you stay on the "cleanse." I'd seriously doubt it if it wasn't for the fact that my friend just got through doing this for 14 days and she seems incredibly more upbeat and energetic than I've ever seen her, and she lost 10 lbs in that span. What I'm really interested in is this whole "re-energizing" thing. I've tried incorporating more water into what I eat and eating healthy, but it seems like it's always an uphill/downhill battle.

The lemonade diet you are referring to is called the "Master Cleanse". It is a giant crock of s***. My girlfriend tried it against my most emphatic protests. Your friend's energy boost most likely stems from the psychological effects of her weight loss. However, she will most likely regain the weight loss while on the diet if she returns to her previous eating patterns. The Master Cleanse diet will result in weight loss because of severe caloric deficit. It will also grind your metabolism to a halt, which is extremely unhealthy. Once you start to eat food again you will quickly regain the lost pounds because your body is in starvation mode and will try to store energy in the form of fat. This diet is extremely harmful in many ways. You will be malnourished and malnutrioned while on this diet.

Also, I'd rather not have 30 pounds of compacted **** in my colon when I die. I don't know about this...has anyone heard of this lemonade diet? If someone on here had tried or knows someone who's tried this, I'm interested in hearing how it went.

You won't have 30 pounds of compacted feces in your colon, that's impossible. Refer to the following snopes link for more information: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fecalcolon.asp
It is very unlikely that you have any compacted feces unless you are experiencing acute intestinal pain.


If you want to feel more energetic and upbeat while losing weight, it takes more than a fad diet. Work on eating healthy foods: non-instant oatmeal, grilled chicken breast, fresh vegetables and fruits, whole wheat breads and rice, lean beef, salmon, cottage cheese, natural peanut butter, etc. Also try to drink only water and milk, about a gallon a day of water. Couple this with a cardio program: easy at first. 3-4 days a week, 30 mins per session. Increase intensity and duration as you progress. Good luck!

[Fatty FatBastard]

Also, I'd rather not have 30 pounds of compacted **** in my colon when I die. I don't know about this...has anyone heard of this lemonade diet? If someone on here had tried or knows someone who's tried this, I'm interested in hearing how it went.

Uhhh, snopes debunked that in the last thread.

As someone who lost 50 lbs. and has kept it off for 6 years, the best advice I can give is screw a diet, and choose a healthier lifestyle. It might sound cliche, but after noting my own progress (I still eat anything I want. I'm just not a glutton), and watching "The Biggest Loser," I truly feel this is the only successful way to lose weight.

Diets are dumb. They never work.

[finalsbound]

Lawl...thanks Nomar...

Where would I be without you in my life.

[3814]

[sexual inuendo]c'mon moes, do your job! [/sexual inuendo]

[CriscoKidd]

Whenever I feel I'm in a rut(overeating, upset stomach, whatever), I just fast for a day or two and do some exercise to kind of "reset" myself. I still eat, just light stuff.

But weeks of just eating/drinking one thing? Nuh-uh.

[KingCheetah]

I'm telling you just drink a large glass of organic prune juice ~ wait about an hour for a flush.

Top to bottom --> whoosh.

[Invisible Fan]

More fiber, more ruffage like salad w/o lettuce, and an extra glass of water or two. That's mostly what you need.

Trader Joes has these cereals with 25% of your daily fiber intake. There's a lot to choose from.

I wouldn't eat 2 bowls, but since this is in topic, eating a bowl of that makes me poop twice a day.

Eating more than 100% of fiber intake does have side effects like cramping, but you can never eat enough vegetables. Especially if you hate it...

[finalsbound]

Man I have no problem with Fiber. My favorite cereal is Fiber One Clusters & Oats which has 14g fiber per 1/2 cup. I can eat the whole box of it. I just want to do a one-time thing that pushes out everything in my intestines. And now that Nomar has de-bunked the "Master Cleanse," I'm gonna try it.

[Burzmali]

Man I have no problem with Fiber. My favorite cereal is Fiber One Clusters & Oats which has 14g fiber per 1/2 cup. I can eat the whole box of it. I just want to do a one-time thing that pushes out everything in my intestines. And now that Nomar has de-bunked the "Master Cleanse," I'm gonna try it.

:confused:

You most likely don't have anything stuck in your intestines. If you did, you'd be in intense pain.

Even if you did have something stuck, the Master Cleanse won't rid you of the problem.

If you have your heart set on doing this, good luck to you: you are harming your body. I'm sensing that the underlying desire here stems from your friend's weight loss. Once you complete the Cleanse, a workout program incorporating weight lifting and cardio coupled with a healthier nutrition plan will help you keep the weight off. Good luck.

[Invisible Fan]

Man I have no problem with Fiber. My favorite cereal is Fiber One Clusters & Oats which has 14g fiber per 1/2 cup. I can eat the whole box of it. I just want to do a one-time thing that pushes out everything in my intestines. And now that Nomar has de-bunked the "Master Cleanse," I'm gonna try it.

Water based diets don't work. Your stomach needs fat or protein to tell your mind that you're full. Everything else passes through.

If you have health insurance or attend a college, I'd visit a doctor/nutritionist for real advice on healthy weight loss.

[finalsbound]

I'm sensing that the underlying desire here stems from your friend's weight loss.

No, not really. I can stay on track if I choose to. Many times I just feel too lethargic to get out and do stuff. Energy and vitality is what I'm looking for.

By the way, I was halfway joking about the compacted poop though, but I'd really like to flush everything out.

[percicles]

By the way, I was halfway joking about the compacted poop though, but I'd really like to flush everything out.

Then get an enema. Or the pricier ones where they stick a tube up your butt.

[macalu]

no moes in the pooper?

[windfern]

Try a juice diet. Juice a fruit or fresh vegetable. Drink one glass every 4 hours.

[Supermac34]

Seriously, if you want a championship poop...just get good ole metamucil.

3 heafty spoons a day to get going...down to one each day to keep it going.

Colon and heart healthy. I prefer the sugar free variety...and I hate, hate, hate the pills. Get the regular stuff you mix in water.

V8 is good too. Has almost as much fiber as one dose of metamucil. I like the low sodium version.

[moestavern19]

I'm sorrrrry RECTUMMMMM, I never meant to hurt youuuuuu.


I never meant to make you cry but tonighhhht, I'm cleaning out my Colonnnnn.

[finalsbound]

V8 is good too. Has almost as much fiber as one dose of metamucil. I like the low sodium version.

I do love me some V8...

[finalsbound]

Only closet gay men enjoy anal sex.

[moestavern19]

Only closet gay men enjoy anal sex.

apart from gay men themselves.

[Burzmali]

Only closet gay men enjoy anal sex.

Hahaha.

How would you know?

[finalsbound]

Hahaha.

How would you know?

Common knowledge.

Do you enjoy anal sex?

[BrockStapper]

man, those crickets sound lovely this evening.

was that a tumbleweed that just went by?!?

[The Real Shady]

Only closet gay men enjoy anal sex.

What a joke. How is receiving anal sex gay?

[Fatty FatBastard]

Common knowledge.

Do you enjoy anal sex?

Hate to burst your bubble, but that, unfortunately, is no longer the case, and hasn't been for years.

Even I tried it once with my ex-wife (we didn't realize we needed lubricant. A little info. we could've used at the time.)

For whatever reason, anal sex has gone the way of oral sex, which was considered taboo up until the 60's.

I shudder to think of what "new" thing may become the "norm" for my son's generation.

[percicles]

Anal sex is very popular in countries were abortion is illegal. My experience in Latin America leads me to believe this.

...ahhh yes. Good times. :D

[Mr. Brightside]

I shudder to think of what "new" thing may become the "norm" for my son's generation.

I predict sex with dead people.

[fba34]

Hate to burst your bubble, but that, unfortunately, is no longer the case, and hasn't been for years.

Even I tried it once with my ex-wife (we didn't realize we needed lubricant. A little info. we could've used at the time.)

For whatever reason, anal sex has gone the way of oral sex, which was considered taboo up until the 60's.

I shudder to think of what "new" thing may become the "norm" for my son's generation.

[with absolute certainty] rim jobs sir [/wbc]

[Invisible Fan]

I predict sex with dead people.

Dead animals (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1115deer-assault15-ON.html)

[percicles]

I got $10 on snowblows.

[weslinder]

On Topic: I did an apple juice fast a few months ago. Three days of nothing but apple juice (at least a gallon per day) and finished up with a glass of half apple juice/ half castor oil. I was definitely cleaned out. I did feel better afterward, but I couldn't tell you if it was just placebo effect.

[DonnyMost]

there is no miracle cleansing system for the colon.

and the whole compacted food thing is a big myth.

just eat fiber and drink a decent amount of water, take a few digestive tract pills that contain a decent amount of roots and herbs that make you crap your pants at the drop of a hat.

[Single Cell]

Look into something called "THE ROD."

I hear it only takes 3 seconds.

[univac hal]

What a joke. How is receiving anal sex gay?

Dishing it out to a lady isn't, but receiving it is.. well, dubious

(Sorry, Dubious)

[Achilleus]

but lately I've been hearing nonstop about a "lemonade diet."

Let's see...4 separate people I know have been telling me lately about this diet where you only drink water and a concoction of lemonade and cayenne pepper, and it's supposed to keep you feeling full for as long as you stay on the "cleanse."

Jared Leto did this...

Before (for filming of the Lennon movie)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/Erica8795/january/56607164.jpg

After the diet...

http://www.perezhilton.com/2db6cb5e98.jpg

[Achilleus]

Only closet gay men enjoy anal sex.

I guess...if you believe that anal sex is what defines a gay dude.

[rhester]

Best colon cleanse is a product called 'herbal fiberblend'

It's the right types of fiber that make the difference.

link (http://www.theaimcompanies.com/)

drink water, high fiber, exercise, eat fruits and veggies- small portions lean meat, get plenty of rest

stay away from refined sugar, alot of fatty fats, white flour, limit salt intake.
Take it easy on processed foods.

FORGET DIETS- whoever said it-
lifestyle change.

colon health is very important.

after the cleanse you will feel younger and have alot more energy

[ima_drummer2k]

I predict sex with dead people.
Been there done that.

It's not a big deal.

[thegary]

Been there done that.

It's not a big deal.

i don't understand it when people say that. everytime i bang a dead animal i've got this damn song running through my head:

I would climb any mountain
Sail across a stormy sea
If thats what it takes me baby
To show you how much you mean to me
And I guess its just the woman in you
That brings out the man in me
I know I cant help myself
Youre all in the world to me

It feels like the first time
Feels like the very first time
It feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time

I have waited a lifetime
Spent my time so foolishly
But now that Ive found you
Together well make history

And I know that it must be the woman in you
That brings out the man in me
I know I cant help myself
Youre all that my eyes can see

And it feels like the first time
Like it never did before
Feels like the first time
Like weve opened up the door
Feels like the first time
Like it never will again, never again

Feels like the first time, it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time, very, very, it feels
It feels like the first time, oh it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time

Open up the door, wont you open up the door? yeah

Feels like the first time
And it feels like the very first time
And it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time

And it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
Oh it feels, it feels like the first time
Yeah it feels like the first time

[BrockStapper]

Been there done that.

It's not a big deal.

me too. I finally divorced her...

[Mulder]

OK, let me set some people straight here.

My wife has ulcerative colitis which means that every six months the doctors stick a camera up her rear and look at her entire colon, even past the sigmoid turn that comes between the descending colon and the transverse colon.

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/21692455/..%5Cimages%5CI39_L.JPG

When her colon is inflamed with bleeding ulcers, the camera pushing up the colon is very painful. (NO she receives NO anesthesia, she is completely awake and alert.)

Food, poo, etc do not get trapped in the colon folds. That is a myth. As soon as you see what the inside of your colon looks like you realize how stupid an idea it really is.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ef/Endomucosal_resection_1.jpg

The growth on the right side of the picture is a polyp. A colonoscopy is designed to find those polyps as they are the pre-cursor to Colon Cancer.

Notice how the colon resembles a crazy straw that has been extended. Where are the pockets of poo supposed to be plugged up?

A Colonoscopy is a dangerous procedure as the camera and tube the doctir places into you can rip the lining of the colon walls. My wife has to sign off on forms stating that she is aware she couldbleed to death if this occurs. With that said, why the hell would you allow some pachouli stinking hippy shove a tube up inside you to "cleanse you out"?

Serioulsy, if you feel "plugged up" follow these steps:

1. Go to Walgreens
2. By a Fleet enema
3. Go HOME
4. Follow the directions
5. Run to the bathroom (if you weren't smart enough to be there already.)

Congrats. Your pipes are clean.

[Mr. Brightside]

I guess...if you believe that anal sex is what defines a gay dude.


yea, that and opera.

[No Worries]

http://www.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/291259.jpg
I started eating this for breakfast last week and OMG. One of my servings (about 2 "recommended" servings) yields 114% of my required fiber per day (and only 120 calories). Let me repeat. OMG.

[MadMax]

1. Go to Walgreens
2. By a Fleet enema
3. Go HOME
4. Follow the directions
5. Run to the bathroom (if you weren't smart enough to be there already.)

Congrats. Your pipes are clean.

It is critical to get Step 3 correct.

[Rocket River]

It is critical to get Step 3 correct.

LOL

So . .what you saying is. . . don't try it in the Car?

Rocket River
:D

[MadMax]

LOL

So . .what you saying is. . . don't try it in the Car?

Rocket River
:D

yeah, i wouldn't.

[ArtV]

I'm one of those "regular" guys and never have a problem, but strangely enough Fiber One has the opposite effect for me.