kaleidosky
04-17-2006, 01:10 PM
Astros are at the mercy of Clemens
By RICHARD JUSTICE
Hello, Roger, this is your friend Drayton.
Hey, Drayton, how's it going?
I've been better. Did you hear about Brandon Backe?
Yes, tough break. I liked that kid. He has a chance.
Not this year. We may not see him until spring training next year. We've lost Carlos Hernandez, too. Remember that excess of pitching? It's gone.
Yeah, well, stuff happens.
Roger, have you seen our rotation? We've got three guys with 11 career victories — all by Wandy Rodriguez. Taylor Buchholz and Fernando Nieve have combined for, let's see, none.
Oh, Drayton, you worry too much. Your rotation had the fourth-best ERA in the National League at the start of play Sunday. Your kids have great stuff.
I want to win a World Series. Like Phil Jackson says, "You don't win championships with kids." We need another experienced guy. Do you see where I'm going with this?
I think I do, Drayton.
I need you, Roger Clemens.
Drayton, like I told you last week, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can tell you for sure I'm not coming back any time soon.
Roger, please.
Words of wisdom ignored
Look, Drayton, I don't want to be rude, but it was your decision to let me become a free agent. Why didn't you listen to that Chronicle columnist — Justice? He tried to tell you. I know it's business and all, but I do bring a few things to the table. I've had two pretty good years.
I'd have won the Cy Young Award two straight years if I'd gotten a little offense.
I know, I know.
No, Drayton, I'm not sure you do. I come here and help you sell tickets.
I increase the value of your franchise. I'm part of your two best seasons.
And I'm arguably the best pitcher in baseball for two years. And what did you do? You let me become a free agent.
Don't remind me.
You showed me the door. I have to be honest, Drayton, that hurts. What more did you want me to do? I know I make a lot of money, but was it that bad of an investment for you? Is your franchise worth more than it was the day I arrived?
Please stop. I was afraid you'd murder me in arbitration.
Rekindle the love affair
I would have, Drayton. As my agent, Randy Hendricks, said, "This is a big boys game."
Can I just say one thing, Roger?
Of course, Drayton.
Name your price. Come back. You loved being on our team.
I did, Drayton. I loved it. I loved the guys, the fans. I really loved the buzz we created.
OK, let's do it.
It's not that simple, Drayton. I've had four months to think about things. My agents have created quite a buzz. I'm in demand. Again, I'm only in demand because you let me become a free agent.
This is home, Roger. Minute Maid Park is a 15-minute drive from your driveway. Hey, and that's some driveway you've got. Let me and Tal Smith come over and re-pave. Let us do the shrubs. I'm serious. You name it.
Yes, it's home. It'll always be home. And when I tell you I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm being honest. I may not pitch again.
Plenty of competition
But you've still got it. You're still great. You're one of those guys who makes a difference even when you're not pitching. You care so much that others care, too.
There's a problem, Drayton. The Red Sox, Yankees and Rangers all want me.
The kids wouldn't mind a summer in New England. Let's say I went back to finish where I started. That would be a pretty good story, wouldn't it? The Red Sox like the idea of having me in a rotation with Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling. That would make them the favorites, right?
I guess.
And you know how much I love the Yankees. Joe Torre was more than a manager. He was a friend. Wearing the pinstripes is special. Look, Drayton, I never should have had these choices. If you'd offered me arbitration, I wouldn't have any options.
I know, Roger.
Maybe most insulting is how you opened the door for the Rangers to sign me. The darkest day the Astros have ever had was when Nolan Ryan signed with the Rangers after the 1988 season. You practically invited me to do the same thing. What were you thinking? Don't you realize that you're now bidding against three franchises who'll blow you out of the water in terms of salary?
I didn't think it through, Roger. I should have listened to Justice.
Yes, you should have, Drayton. You should have seen me as an asset. Because that's what I am.
I know.
Now your pitching is short, and your season is in jeopardy. All of a sudden, I'm your best buddy.
Would you consider doing it for your hometown, Roger?
Hush-hush about this talk
I'll consider doing it for you, Drayton, but I want you to understand I don't like the way you handled things. You think you can go out and get anyone to pitch 200 innings with one of the lowest ERAs in the game? You can't. Besides, we're not even supposed to be having this conversation. You can't officially talk to me until May 1. I hope Bud Selig doesn't find out we're having this talk.
OK, Roger, I'm getting off the phone. But you haven't heard the last of me. I'm calling at 12:01 a.m. on May 1.
You do that, Drayton. Don't count on me being home.
By RICHARD JUSTICE
Hello, Roger, this is your friend Drayton.
Hey, Drayton, how's it going?
I've been better. Did you hear about Brandon Backe?
Yes, tough break. I liked that kid. He has a chance.
Not this year. We may not see him until spring training next year. We've lost Carlos Hernandez, too. Remember that excess of pitching? It's gone.
Yeah, well, stuff happens.
Roger, have you seen our rotation? We've got three guys with 11 career victories — all by Wandy Rodriguez. Taylor Buchholz and Fernando Nieve have combined for, let's see, none.
Oh, Drayton, you worry too much. Your rotation had the fourth-best ERA in the National League at the start of play Sunday. Your kids have great stuff.
I want to win a World Series. Like Phil Jackson says, "You don't win championships with kids." We need another experienced guy. Do you see where I'm going with this?
I think I do, Drayton.
I need you, Roger Clemens.
Drayton, like I told you last week, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can tell you for sure I'm not coming back any time soon.
Roger, please.
Words of wisdom ignored
Look, Drayton, I don't want to be rude, but it was your decision to let me become a free agent. Why didn't you listen to that Chronicle columnist — Justice? He tried to tell you. I know it's business and all, but I do bring a few things to the table. I've had two pretty good years.
I'd have won the Cy Young Award two straight years if I'd gotten a little offense.
I know, I know.
No, Drayton, I'm not sure you do. I come here and help you sell tickets.
I increase the value of your franchise. I'm part of your two best seasons.
And I'm arguably the best pitcher in baseball for two years. And what did you do? You let me become a free agent.
Don't remind me.
You showed me the door. I have to be honest, Drayton, that hurts. What more did you want me to do? I know I make a lot of money, but was it that bad of an investment for you? Is your franchise worth more than it was the day I arrived?
Please stop. I was afraid you'd murder me in arbitration.
Rekindle the love affair
I would have, Drayton. As my agent, Randy Hendricks, said, "This is a big boys game."
Can I just say one thing, Roger?
Of course, Drayton.
Name your price. Come back. You loved being on our team.
I did, Drayton. I loved it. I loved the guys, the fans. I really loved the buzz we created.
OK, let's do it.
It's not that simple, Drayton. I've had four months to think about things. My agents have created quite a buzz. I'm in demand. Again, I'm only in demand because you let me become a free agent.
This is home, Roger. Minute Maid Park is a 15-minute drive from your driveway. Hey, and that's some driveway you've got. Let me and Tal Smith come over and re-pave. Let us do the shrubs. I'm serious. You name it.
Yes, it's home. It'll always be home. And when I tell you I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm being honest. I may not pitch again.
Plenty of competition
But you've still got it. You're still great. You're one of those guys who makes a difference even when you're not pitching. You care so much that others care, too.
There's a problem, Drayton. The Red Sox, Yankees and Rangers all want me.
The kids wouldn't mind a summer in New England. Let's say I went back to finish where I started. That would be a pretty good story, wouldn't it? The Red Sox like the idea of having me in a rotation with Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling. That would make them the favorites, right?
I guess.
And you know how much I love the Yankees. Joe Torre was more than a manager. He was a friend. Wearing the pinstripes is special. Look, Drayton, I never should have had these choices. If you'd offered me arbitration, I wouldn't have any options.
I know, Roger.
Maybe most insulting is how you opened the door for the Rangers to sign me. The darkest day the Astros have ever had was when Nolan Ryan signed with the Rangers after the 1988 season. You practically invited me to do the same thing. What were you thinking? Don't you realize that you're now bidding against three franchises who'll blow you out of the water in terms of salary?
I didn't think it through, Roger. I should have listened to Justice.
Yes, you should have, Drayton. You should have seen me as an asset. Because that's what I am.
I know.
Now your pitching is short, and your season is in jeopardy. All of a sudden, I'm your best buddy.
Would you consider doing it for your hometown, Roger?
Hush-hush about this talk
I'll consider doing it for you, Drayton, but I want you to understand I don't like the way you handled things. You think you can go out and get anyone to pitch 200 innings with one of the lowest ERAs in the game? You can't. Besides, we're not even supposed to be having this conversation. You can't officially talk to me until May 1. I hope Bud Selig doesn't find out we're having this talk.
OK, Roger, I'm getting off the phone. But you haven't heard the last of me. I'm calling at 12:01 a.m. on May 1.
You do that, Drayton. Don't count on me being home.